Posted on 01/16/2016 11:13:45 AM PST by TNoldman
I am seeking guidance on a personal issue related to a Family Will that my wife and I are about to prepare.
We have been married for 28 years and we are 79 and 81 YO. My wife has a Daughter and a Son by a previous marriage and I have 4 Sons by a previous marriage.
Just last week we Honored the passing of my Wife's Son of 56.
Now we need to revise our Wills to reflect this loss and perhaps some other changes.
THE SIGNIFICANT ISSUE is how we handle the division of our Assets after we both pass. One of my Son's has chosen to disassociate himself from all Family members. I have not had contact with him in 29 years. (He was 20 YO when his Mother and I Divorced).
In the past we have had Wills that divided our Assets equally among our 6 children. We plan to give the portion that would have gone to our Son that just passed to his 3 children. Our dilemma is how to deal with the one Son who has chosen to exclude us from his life.
Do we exclude him totally, give him a token amount or treat him to an equal share?
Please feel free to comment with regard to all aspects of emotions, such as : Forgiveness, Punishment, Fairness and etc.
Do not wait one minute more. Meet with a lawyer who practices in the area of estates.
Talk to a lawyer.
I’m pretty sure that each person has to have their own will.
Your estate is complicated. Stop reading these posts—except the ones that tell you to get professional help.
Also get a power of attorney document and a living will signed.
Really—this is one thing you do not want to cheap out on. Save your kids from massive headaches, fights; and expenses.
Step one: Write down what you want in plain English...
Step two: Find someone you trust that you can discuss this with. Perhaps your clergy, perhaps a trusted friend, someone that will tell you the truth and help you clarify your feelings. Rewrite the document as needed
Step three: Then find a lawyer that practices in this area and have him translate it into proper legal language...
That’s a decision that only you & your wife can make.
Personally, I’d leave a token amount
My brother walked out on his wife and kids for a PYT and disowned our mom. Since then he ran the family biz into the ground along with our mom’s income and our inheritance. Mom has written him completely out of her will. It’s painful, but such is life. He made his choices. My sis and I will NOT be dividing what share we have with him.
Sorry for your recent loss, but yes a lawyer not FReepers, is what you need.
I would think that you would also have to consider the states where you and your children live.
Different states treat wills differently.
Example:
Louisiana:
No matter if the father who lived in Louisiana chooses to move out of Louisiana, the offspring who were born in Louisiana get half of the father’s/wive’s assets, period. That leads to legal fights.
As others have said, get a lawyer.
If you haven’t tried or do not attempt to try to reconciliate with your estranged son, I suggest you include him in your will.
Our dilemma is how to deal with the one Son who has chosen to exclude us from his life.
Do we exclude him totally, give him a token amount or treat him to an equal share?
I echo others, get legal advice of course.
But I would want to know, why did this son exclude you from his life. Is he out of control, on drugs, unable to think rationally?? Please discuss the reasons for being dissociated from your son with the attorneys, as you proceed.
Yep...that’s why a will usually proclaims “if anyone contests this will, that person’s share will be $5’ or something to that effect. I do hate to see someone cut out, however, couldn’t the father leave him a respectable, token amount. Why carry his hatred on?
Strip em down to their shorts, tie their hands behind their backs, take em outside to a tree stump, embed a Bowie knife in the tree stump and let them have at each other. Winner takes all.
Trusts can help avoid probate. Again, seek professional advice, from perhaps three places.
It is my opinion he be treated as equal, it is the right thing and also may save estate from being sued in the future taking a burden off the other children.
Did your son cut off contact because of the divorce?
I am dumfounded by the number of people that come to a political web sight and ask strangers for advise on financial,personal and legal matters.
Hire a good estate attny,YESTERDAY
Isn't that special.
Note that every state has different laws concerning your circumstances. Be sure that you get advice based on your states laws.
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