It has been almost a year since my wife and I lost my stepdaughter (her daughter) to cancer. I may pick up this book. However, I worry that it might exacerbate wounds that we have worked hard to heal (or have learned to ignore).
Sans-Culotte, I have spoken to a number of people who have heard how good the book is yet they too are hesitant to read it for the reasons you mention. I completely understand. I was hesitant to wade in myself. With that in mind, here are a few quotes from a review that I think may allay your fears a bit. It has been one that has been echoed by a number of readers:
I absolutely HAD to read this book and I absolutely COULD not read it at the same time. But, oh, I’m so glad I did. September’s vulnerability, insight, and recollection of events brought each word straight to the heart. The book is so purposefully composed, the artwork is captivating and somehow, though it is the most tragic story I’ve ever lived through, I felt whispers of hope from beginning to end. Grief is ugly and unpredictable, but September’s present and brave navigation of her loss gives permission to feel the waves of grief in the exact way you need to.
One thing that I’ve learned is that everyone processes grief differently - there is no canned mechanism that works across the board. People will, with the sincerest of intention, suggest something that worked for them or someone they know.
In all probability, the latter. For what kind of parent could ever get over this thing? You can only just learn to live with it. Finding out that you are not alone in the experience is usually, once you have confronted the pain again, its own kind of relief from being shared.