I think it's helpful to try to figure out what they're thinking. This is, after all, a religious war for them.
The belief that they are "just like us" and that they are rational certainly won't get us very far.
While I was in college I became friendly with 4 or 5 Muslims from Algeria. These men hated, I mean hated to the depths of their souls, the United States. I came to realize that they are completely rational based on the strength of their hatred and contempt for the United States. In understanding this it became clear to me how they could come here and go to school, form "friendships" and see the goodness in Americans and feel absolutely no connection to our humanity. It is frightening really, I think we would call it sociopathic in this country.