Posted on 02/28/2005 8:24:39 AM PST by pissant
MISTAKE #1: Being Too Much Of A "Nice Guy"
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted to "nice" guys?
Of course you have.
Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.
What's going on here?
It's actually very simple...
Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.
And guess what?
Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.
And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.
I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT.
Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.
MISTAKE #2: Trying To "Convince Her To Like You"
What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just not interested?
Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.
Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!
Never, ever, EVER.
You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".
Think about it.
If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her?
But we all do it.
When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.
Bad idea. One that will never work.
MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her For Approval Or Permission
In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission".
Another HORRIBLE idea.
Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.
Don't get me wrong here.
You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you.
But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again.
You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval.
Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...
MISTAKE #4: Trying To "Buy" Her Affection With Food And Gifts
How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?
If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT.
Well guess what?
It's only NATURAL when this happens...
That's right, I said NATURAL.
When you do these things, you send a clear message:
"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection".
Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.
MISTAKE #5: Sharing "How You Feel" Too Early In The Relationship With Her
Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on.
Attractive women are rare.
And they get a LOT of attention from men.
Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME
An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.
And guess what?
Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men.
That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.
They know what to expect.
And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.
This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves.
Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.
There's a much better way...
MISTAKE #6: Not "Getting" How Attraction Works For Women
Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.
You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.
When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.
But does the same apply for women?
Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?
Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.
Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around?
Think about it.
Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.
If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.
And ANY guy can learn how...
MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks
One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age.
And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.
But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks.
There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet...
And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.
YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.
Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
MISTAKE #8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women
Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission.
Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.
Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants.
Another bad idea...
Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!
MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women
Now I'm going to blow your mind...
A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.
Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.
I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.
And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!
And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating...
Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything.
If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.
And you KNOW it.
It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.
MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP
This is the biggest mistake of all.
This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want.
I know, guys don't like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help.
Hey, I've been there myself.
Let me tell you a little about me and how I figured out how to be successful with women...
About five years ago I became fed up with the fact that I didn't know how to approach, meet, and get dates with women that I was attracted to.
It frustrated the hell out of me.
One night I was out with a friend, and I saw a woman I wanted to ask out, but I just couldn't get up the nerve to do it. I can still remember that night... right on the spot I made the decision to do whatever it took to learn how to be successful with women and dating.
Well, after a lot of hard work and trying all kinds of crazy things, I finally figured it all out.
I can now approach just about any woman and get her number almost instantly. I've dated models, I've dated actresses, and I've dated nice, normal, regular girls as well.
It has been a very rewarding experience. I no longer feel that sick, insecure feeling... like I don't know how to meet women... and I might wind up alone.
I know that anytime, anywhere, I can go out and meet attractive women.
You are right. I know that from personal experience.
It is. I'm glad you confirmed it. Some of it is perhaps a little over-the-top, but I can tell you, I've done a lot better cultivating the Bad Boy image and not caring -- letting women pursue me a little -- than I ever did chasing them around. Having a little sense of humor also helps.
Please note that our intrepid author fails to mention a sense of humor.
I can say from personal experience that jokes about (a) ex-girlfriends, (b) India and (c) sacredness do not go over so well.
Please note that our intrepid author fails to mention a sense of humor.
I can say from personal experience that jokes about (a) ex-girlfriends, (b) India and (c) sacredness do not go over so well.
bookmarking for later
Just kidding!
I like a guy with a sense of humor.
Oh, how would you know anyway? Besides, the coolest thing is being able to post twice and not knowing why.
So let's see, I wear the hat on my butt and put my jeans over my head, right?
Oh, they all say that, but, Billy Crystal not withstanding, you never see funny guys as the desirable hunks on the soap operas. When push comes to shove, it's always the guy with the cigarette pack rolled into his sleeve.
When he chooses to wear a shirt, that is.
(Smiling slightly, looking your way, sunglasses on, leaning against the building with my jacket slung over my shoulder)
SHould I share these with my sons?
Wow the last time I watched a soap opera was years ago.
Be yourself. Say what you feel like saying, or say nothing if you have nothing to say. Open doors or don't. Be emotionally demonstrative or keep it all buttoned up. Or any combination of these.
Observe. How to people react to you? Do you get lots of first-only dates, have long relationships that end with the woman still liking you, or no dates?
Think. How does "being yourself" work for you? If you're not pleased with the results, be honest with yourself about what works and what doesn't. Are you turning women off over minor things? Major things? Are these cosmetic things (holding a door for a woman) or deep, major issues (your work is the core of your life and to give it up would mean you're not being yourself)?
Change what is turning women off unless you're willing to be alone with these elements of your personality intact.
"Liqour is the answer for short term relationships. (It'll get 'em every time)"
_______________________________________
LOL. The liquor does indeed work. Usually by getting blitzed after the gal(guy) you were trying to hit on leaves the bar. Then the indespesible "beer goggles" kick in and you end up with the toothless troll who was chain smoking at the end of the bar!
I'm sorry, I didn't make myself clear.
Put it this way: if a man is confusing his masculine presence by being overly 'nice,' the odds are that the female won't be sexually intrigued by the 'niceness.'
'Nice' to a large extent (though need not be) means denying a man's natural sextual instinct and identity. When a woman calls a man 'nice,' that's usually a euphamism for 'sexually nonthreatening.'
So the next time a male is 'complemented' as being 'nice,' realize she is telling you that you have stripped yourself of most of your sexual idenity - you are a 'non-threat.' You have no penis or testicles to speak of. One of the girls. There is no reason to expect most women would be sexually smitten by such a male.
A woman can't meaningfully recognize a man as gentle until she has seen him be tough - and that includes being tough with her. Not in a violent, domineering, or overbearing way, but in the way that shows masculinity, confidence, dominance (as in being a dominant, and not a weak, male), and character.
The truth is that given choice, a woman will naturally choose to be with a more dominant and unambiguously masculine male than a less dominant and more ambiguously masculine male.
The fact that the male in the second case intentionally made himself ambiguous, or somehow thinks himself as superior, is strange.
The truth is that it is not a choice between being a nice guy and a jerk. Limiting it to that choice isn't productive. You have more choices than being 'nice' and 'jerk.'
The 'kind of woman' who is drawn to a masculine presence is the large majority of women. I don't blame them - they instinctively don't want to pass their DNA onto a next generation with what is considered (though perhaps wrongly so) as a weak male's DNA.
Those men are inferior, in that they undermine their masculuine traits to the point where they are sexless wonders, or girlfriends with a penis. It's very hard for a woman to be excited by a male who has divorced himself from his sexual nature (which for purposes of what I am saying is what I mean - and what many women mean - by 'nice').
Those men are routinely rejected, even if they consider themselves superior in some way to men who embrace their sexual identity. I applaud women who reject those males - those ladies understand that while those sexless wonders are really nice to have around when they need to be picked up at the airport in the poring rain, they rarely reward those men with their sexual goodies because, when you get right down to it, they aren't sexually very exciting.
They reserve those goodies for more unambiguously male. And that's a good thing.
LOL
You get lots of huffy responses when you post this stuff here. Usually from guys who don't want to believe it. It's generally not worth the trouble to try to educate them that Nice Guy = Woman Repellent. ;)
Leave me out of this!
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