Do you have feelings of inadequacy (Vanity)

crushelits | Februart 22, 2006 | crushelits

[crushelits]

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living with Tequila®.

Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

 

[Mike Darancette]

Do I have to eat the worm --- sir?

[camle]

one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!

[PeteB570]

All women are good looking - some just take more beer than others.

There goes a two six packer :-).

[philsfan24]

one shot... HEY! MAS TEQUILA!

[IllumiNaughtyByNature]

However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

That is where I actually LOL.

[Rakkasan1]

I feel inadequate because I can only afford cheap tequila.

[The SISU kid]

FF (Favorite FReeper) ping....

[peacebaby]

Naked Twister...now that's a challenge in more than one way

[trisham]

Table dancing sounds all right. Good exercise, accompanied by a wee bit of danger.

[TheBigB]

[pissant]

Can I substitute Guinness in this therapy?

[Redcloak]

Do I have to eat the worm

Only in extreme cases. Otherwise, it is best to leave Dr. Gusano undisturbed.

[The SISU kid]

Can I substitute Guinness in this therapy?

But of course! What ever sinks your sub!

8^)

[Redcloak]

She said I’m going out with my girlfriends for
Margaritas at the holiday inn
Oh have mercy my only thought
Was tequila makes her clothes fall off
I told her put an extra layer on
I know what happens when she drinks Patron
Her closets missing half the things she bought
Yea tequila makes her clothes fall off

She’ll start by kicking out of her shoes
Lose an earring in her drink
Leave her jacket in the bathroom stall
Drop a contact down the sink

Them panty hose ain't gonna last too long
If the DJ puts Bon Jovi on
She might come home in a table cloth
Yea tequila makes her clothes fall off

She can handle any champagne brunch
A bridal shower with Bacardi punch
Jello shooters full of Smirnoff
But tequila makes her clothes fall off

She’ll start by kicking out of her shoes
Lose an earring in her drink
Leave her jacket in the bathroom stall
Drop a contact down the sink

She don’t mean nothing
She's just havin' fun
Tomorrow she'll say oh what have I done
friends will joke about the stuff she lost
Yea tequila makes her clothes fall off
Oh tequila makes her clothes fall off
Oh tequila makes her clothes fall off

 "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off", by Joe Nichols

[peacebaby]

Frankly, I do feel inadequate in the kitchen. As the family jokes, dinner's done when the fire alarm goes off.

Soooo, I'll just set that bottle of tequila in the midde of the table and say, Dinner's Ready, Ya'll.

[new cruelty]

LOL. Thanks for the laugh.

[The SISU kid]

Don't forget the lime & salt shaker!

[The SISU kid]

Tequila Cookies
1 cup of dark brown sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) butter
1 cup of granulated sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups of dried fruit, (dried cranberries or raisins)
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 tsp fresh lemon juice
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila (silver or gold, as desired)

Sample the Cuervo to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour another 4 oz. in a measuring cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another 4 oz., just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, pick the frigging fruit off floor.

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Check the Jose Cuervo.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS

[JewishRighter]

ROTFL!!!