1) "I don't want you kids to demonize the South. We here in the North were no angels. Judge yourself and your ancestors first before you go putting down people who live in Alabama or Mississippi."
2) "You kids think your hands are clean. You think the rednecks in the South did all the bad stuff. Well, those stupid hillbillies did do a lot of bad stuff. An awful lot. But, hey, your ancestors were no angels either. You kids are guilty as hell. Reparations are the least you can do for blacks, seeing as how involved your families were in the slave trade. Now, do your duty, step up, feel guilty, and vote to increase government spending on inner cities."
Works for me.
2) "You kids think your hands are clean. You think the rednecks in the South did all the bad stuff. Well, those stupid hillbillies did do a lot of bad stuff. An awful lot. But, hey, your ancestors were no angels either. You kids are guilty as hell. Reparations are the least you can do for blacks, seeing as how involved your families were in the slave trade. Now, do your duty, step up, feel guilty, and vote to increase government spending on inner cities."
Take out the portions in bold and it still works for me. Either way, it's about time to lay the guilt and the blame where it belongs in the War. On the north.
What people do understand, however, is that (1) slavery was on the decline, or had been outlawed in many northern states by 1861, and (2) an independent, slave-based South represented competition over who would control the West.
The South declared independence and lost. Trying to overcome any stigma associated with that campaign by forwarding irrelevant comparisons reveals more about themselves than they may have intended.
Of course, the greatest irony is that the South really didn't lose. By maintaining a solid regional alliance, an incorporated South has controlled the US government for generations. See Reagan/ColdWar, Clinton/BJs, BushII/Iraq, etc.