Jazz Day
Lone Ranger Debuted in 1933
National Croissant Day
Snagglepuss’s Birthday
National Inane Answering Machine Message Day
Yodel for Your Neighbors Day
Best Answering Machine Message Ever
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Please stay on the line until we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are delusional, press 7 and we will connect you to the mother ship. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.
Have fun waiting for me to answer the phone!
Katie J.
P.S. By the way, if you call seven times and I don’t answer, I’m probably screening my calls and don’t want to talk to you. DO NOT CALL ME AGAIN.
