Posted on 04/04/2009 6:26:36 PM PDT by Califreak
I am sitting here crying as well. I am so sorry for your loss. You can’t feel guilty for keeping her from suffering; the choice was the right one. I am owned by four kitties myself, and I dread the day that must happen.
Within the past five years, I have had to put three horses down, all of them my little girls pets. We had a habit of taking the horses nobody else wanted, no-one else loved, and gave them a home. We took the sick ones, the old ones, the ones destined for slaughter. It hurts so much being the one to tell the vet “it’s time”, and the guilt eventually gets easier. I could sit here and say “I should have gotten a healthier horse, and I/my daughter would have less pain” But, we just feel every horse deserves to be loved by a little girl, at least once in their life.
I still cry when I think of my horses - and sometimes at night - when I’m alone at the barn, I can still feel my horse, Freedom, resting her head on my shoulder - letting me know she’ll be there to carry me home when its my time to go. I love this poem, even though its about a horse, it holds true to kitties and dogs, and all creature God puts in our care.
I’ll lend you for a little while
My grandest foal, He said.
For you to love while she’s alive
And mourn for when she’s dead.
It may be one or twenty years,
Or days or months, you see.
But will you, till I take her back
Take care of her for me?
She’ll bring her charms to gladden you,
And should her stay be brief
You’ll have her treasured memories
As solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay,
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught on earth
I want this foal to learn.
I’ve looked the wide world over
In my search for teachers true.
And from the throngs that crowd life’s lanes
With trust, I have selected you.
Now will you give her all your love?
Nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come
To take her back again?
I know you’ll give her tenderness
And love will bloom each day.
And for the happiness you’ve know
You will forever grateful stay.
But should I come and call for her
Much sooner than you’d planned
You’ll brave the bitter grief that comes
And maybe you’ll understand.
author unknown
My condolences to you, believe me, it is hard losing your pets.
They trust us to relieve their pain and in the end, sometimes this is how it has to be. You did the right thing not to let her suffer.
Condolences on your loss.
Oh, I’ve wrestled with the same dilemma. My beautiful white cat collapsed down a flight of stairs and began screaming. The vet said he was dying of leukemia and virtually had water in his veins. He said the cat didn’t show suffering until he couldn’t take it anymore. I held him until he relaxed and purred. I know he was happy I was there. I hated letting the vet give him the needle, but I couldn’t let the torture continue.
Two months ago I helped my 89 year old father fulfill his wishes to have everything done to keep him alive. He had congestive heart failure and kidney failure. He had seen a lawyer to make sure I would be able to make the decision if he was unable. The hospital lobbied us for several weeks to authorize a Do Not Resuscitate order. Until his last day he had his idea of quality of life—seeing loved ones. The hospital staff was horrified. Finally, I could see that his condition and the treatment had become the worst sort of torture. I stopped the suctioning and had them discontinue the pressor drug keeping his blood pressure up. His blood pressure quickly dropped and he died. I could finally see what the doctor had been telling me, that the body wanted to die and we wouldn’t let it. His final wish was that I would decide when he couldn’t, so I don’t feel I betrayed him. Still, both incidents were the hardest of my life, as I am pro-life. Sometimes life ends, though. We just have to see it. I hope you will come to see your decision as the ultimate act of love. God bless.
If your kitty was very sick and suffering, she was counting on you, the friend she’d always trusted, to help end her suffering quickly. You didn’t let her down.
I know you’ve got to be in a lot of pain right now, but try to keep in mind that her spirit is out there somewhere watching over you, and she desperately wants you to be happy, and seeing you happy will make her happy. You made her happy for many years — don’t stop now.
My adult son died here at home on June 27, 2005 - leaving his cat behind. Red tabbies tend to be very interactive with their people, and this one was no exception, but he was really lost without David. But after a few months of sleeping by David’s door, he transferred his attention to me, and spent many hours in my lap while I was using my computer.
Then last year I noticed a lump on top of his head, and an “infected” toe. The vet removed the lump, and thought it was benign but I had it tested - and it was not. He scolded me about Red’s toe, and gave me antibiotics, a soaking solution, and dressings for it. But it failed to get better, and eventually it became clear that this was the primary tumor, and that it was spreading rapidly.
My wife had been halfway through her breast cancer chemotherapy when David died, so I know how debilitating that was. And Red, at 13, was seriously languishing - losing weight, never active, and would not eat. I could explain to my wife that these poisons were saving her life, and that her sickness and discomfort likely would lead to a happy end. But how to explain that to an old, sick cat with only a tiny chance of success?
It was time for the last trip to the vet. And in the end, it was an act of love and compassion, just as yours was.
My adult son died here at home on June 27, 2005 - leaving his cat behind. Red tabbies tend to be very interactive with their people, and this one was no exception, but he was really lost without David. But after a few months of sleeping by David’s door, he transferred his attention to me, and spent many hours in my lap while I was using my computer.
Then last year I noticed a lump on top of his head, and an “infected” toe. The vet removed the lump, and thought it was benign but I had it tested - and it was not. He scolded me about Red’s toe, and gave me antibiotics, a soaking solution, and dressings for it. But it failed to get better, and eventually it became clear that this was the primary tumor, and that it was spreading rapidly.
My wife had been halfway through her breast cancer chemotherapy when David died, so I know how debilitating that was. And Red, at 13, was seriously languishing - losing weight, never active, and would not eat. I could explain to my wife that these poisons were saving her life, and that her sickness and discomfort likely would lead to a happy end. But how to explain that to an old, sick cat with only a tiny chance of success?
It was time for the last trip to the vet. And in the end, it was an act of love and compassion, just as yours was.
“Okay, now I am crying.”
Me, too. I still miss little Duchess, and she’s been gone almost two years now.
Ever see the movie "Where The Red Fern Grows"?
You did the right thing. She knew it was time, and she looked to you for help. You came through for her, and she knew you loved her. They know when it’s time.
There’s nothing you did against pro life.
I’m so sorry. I’ve been through it, and had to make the decision myself, so I know what you feel.
(((Califreak))) <— cyber hug
You had no choice but to do it. Still, I’m sure it was very, very hard. As a fellow cat lover, my deepest condolences.
You said you saw it in their eyes? Is it like a sad stare? The reason I ask is that my kitty has cancer and I know its time. He has lost so much weight and he has large tumors all over him. He just lays on the rug and stares at the wall with a sad look on his face. Hes very depressed. The vet says he isn’t in pain but he doesn’t sleep, just stares at the wall with that sad look in his eyes. I know I should do the right thing but it hurts so bad. I just can’t bring myself to take his life.
Thank you for all of your kind and thoughtful responses.
They were a great comfort to me and my family.
I have had to put down two great dogs, and three great cats.
It always hurts.
I have a cat bumping me right now that will be number four.
He is good old guy.
It hurts. I know.
It is notoriously difficult to control pain in cats. Cats hide their pain, so that it is difficult to gauge just how much pain they are in, and also the medications available to control pain in felines tend to have bad side effects if used long-term. Also, the pain meds really don’t work that well. If your kitty was already on her way out, and she was in discomfort or pain, then IMHO you absolutely did the right thing. And I know from personal experience just how hard it is to do that for your beloved kitties, when what you really want is for them to stay with you forever. You are brave for doing that, and if your cat could thank you out loud, she would have. I absolutely believe our pets know when we are trying to do our best for them, and they appreciate it.
And I am very sorry for your loss. I had to put my beloved best friend kitty down a year ago (old, sick, in pain, no hope for recovery) and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. ((Hugs to you!!!))
My last cat, Motorola, did that, I would pick her up and carry her to her food dish and in a little while she was back by the wall. She just stared at the wall until she died. She had no known illness but she was old 14 or 15. I asked my vet (my brother) and he said her organs were shutting down.
Thank you.
My condolences to both of you. I play the tough guy around the house with the animals (get the cat off of my side of the bed, stupid dog waking me up, etc.). But, I love them both dearly. With the 14-year old dog it had cancer in his leg and we decided even though he was old he acted like a puppy, so we had them amputate his leg in the hope of getting another six month from him. (And like the vet said - that’s two years in dog years! That actually is what clinched the decision for me. LOL!) That was a year ago now! And he’s back to chasing squirrels!
The long-time cat, she knew it was time (feline lukemia). She couldn’t sleep, she would not face you, she would find places to hide and face into the wall - really strange behaviour. In the end she was having these “fits” of shaking, and couldn’t walk straight.
My wife wanted to wait as long as possible. I finally called the vet to make an appointment ASAP. It just wasn’t fair to the poor cat. It never meowed or cried in pain or whatever, but it had to be suffering. Or at least confused as to what was going on. Poor thing.
And, as tough as I pretend to be, I cried when we had to put her down as I held her. And I’ll no doubt do the same with our dog when its his time. Even if I do have to clean up a mess on the downstairs carpet that same day. (Stupid dog!) ;)
It’s not so much that you will be taking it, it is more that you are giving it back to the world to use again.
Whether it’s inspiration or infusion, life, when it runs high like sap in a spring tree finds its resolution through the long, slow trip home — giving memory to disappointment and experiencing joy in equal parts, and saving regret for another time.
If a person has a pet, one of them will find peace.
With grace they will embrace.
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