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I think I'm falling in love with a liberal. She's beautiful and has a big heart, but we have conflicting political ideologies. Does anyone have any tips for being in a relationship like that?

First of all, I tend to think that if you were truly in love, you wouldn’t be asking total strangers on the internet for advice. I hope I’m wrong.

Secondly, you say she is beautiful and has a big heart, but what does that really mean to you? What (aside from physical attributes) makes her “beautiful” to you and what does having a big heart mean to you?

Ask yourself if her physical beauty was suddenly removed – let’s say in a horrible accident – would you still love her and why? Can you list any of the reasons? Would she be the same person to you if suddenly she looked different?

I have some good friends and close relatives who differ from me in political and religious beliefs and many of them have “big hearts”. We may politely agree to disagree and sometimes spiritedly and vehemently and occasionally angrily argue with each other, but I know if the chips are down, if I was in a crisis, that these people whom I love and trust, would drop everything to come to my aid and I would do the same for them.

Would you do that for her even if you were angry with her over a political disagreement? Would she do the same for you?

Do you have expectations of changing her? Does she have expectations of changing you? If either is the case then the relationship could be doomed.

I don’t know how old you are or what your experience in love is, but I’m old enough to tell you that even your “sole mate” is not likely to be your exact clone. There will always be differences of POV and learning to work through them is what makes a relationship work in the long term. Sometimes opposites can compliment each other when the relationship is truly based on unconditional love and mutual trust and respect. Having a lot in common helps but does not necessarily guarantee a happy and long term relationship.

“I have some good friends and close relatives who differ from me in political and religious beliefs and many of them have “big hearts”. We may politely agree to disagree and sometimes spiritedly and vehemently and occasionally angrily argue with each other, but I know if the chips are down, if I was in a crisis, that these people whom I love and trust, would drop everything to come to my aid and I would do the same for them.”

Same here.