How Soccer is Ruining America: A Jeremiad (In honor of the World Cup)

First Things ^ | 3/5/2009 | Stephen H. Webb

[antiRepublicrat]

Get rid of whatever "off sides" is.

It's needed. It keeps the opposing team from crowding the goal, trying to keep someone right next to it so he can score when he gets the ball. If that were allowed, both teams would just crowd the opposing goal, and put defenders at their own goals to defend, and there wouldn't me much action on the rest of the field.

Despite the long explanations so prevalent, offsides is easy to see if you remember three simple things:

You effectively become a non-player when you are the closest thing on the field to the opposing goalie during regular play (no ball or other opposing player is closer).

You are offsides if you try play, IOW, influence the game during your non-player status.

For this purpose, your position is counted at the time someone else on your team kicks the ball.

[Maverick68]

bump

[Scythian]

I absolutely hate soccer and so do my kids ...

[1rudeboy]

SO? A soccer player cannot tackle ANYONE.

A quick jaunt over to Youtube should disabuse you of that notion.

[Dr. Sivana]

THAT is a purely American invention, that only now is beginning to infect sporting programs in other countries. You can't fob that one off.

You may be right about that. I also don't think it is all that "conservative" that our women excel at hard grinding physical contact sports like soccer and hockey. I saw the begining of the end when they starting having co-ed Little LEague baseball. Now I shall dodge return fire from new quarters.

[who knows what evil?]

Assign a sniper for each team. Give him three bullets.

I read a book based on that premise years ago...it was football, but played on the streets of our decaying cities. Each team had a sniper with one bullet. Quarterback had to be VERY CAREFUL to look up with his eyes instead of his entire head. Expose your throat, and BANG! Time for that back up quarterback... :-)

[1rudeboy]

He stated that a tie is like "kissing your sister."

But at lease she's pretty. If sports is a metaphor of life, then it should allow for draw outcomes. Just my opinion, I understand.

If others dislike draws so strongly that they must butcher the rules of the game in order to avoid them, then they have the problem, not I.

[Grunthor]

“I also don’t think it is all that “conservative” that our women excel at hard grinding physical contact sports like soccer and hockey. I saw the begining of the end when they starting having co-ed Little LEague baseball. Now I shall dodge return fire from new quarters.”

Oh crap I think I am sexist. I also think I just realized why I don’t like soccer. Same reason I stopped watching the NBA and field hockey. If chicks can play it, is it really a sport?

[1rudeboy]

And like I said, 95% of Americans understand that number is made up.

[Chode]

tooo damn funny...!!!

[1rudeboy]

If chicks can play it, is it really a sport?

So much for that new shooting program on the History Channel.

[Chode]

maybe if the ball was on fire or something...

[andy58-in-nh]

Liberalism is “ruining America”. Soccer is merely helping to fertilize the ground for it.

[1rudeboy]

That’s just silly.

[Dr. Sivana]

In 2002, nearly everyone who actually liked soccer watched the games (in the U.S.) on Univision. ABC sucked. If you want an accurate number . . . .

Fair enough. I'll throw in the Univision numbers (though some on here would say that illegal aliens watching shouldn't count as Americans). It still comes in at a low percentage. Like all championship events (especially the Super Bowl and the Olympics, not so much the World Series) some of the viewers aren't really fans of the game, but are interested in the outcome for other reasons (ethnic heritage, hometown pride, bandwagon effect). Even so, my 90%+ number is holding up well.

Univision, the popular Spanish-language broadcaster said its ratings tripled from the previous World Cup, with the Mexico/Iran match being watched by 5.4 million households, making it the most watched sporting event in Spanish-language television history.

[BnBlFlag]

“If chicks can play it, is it really a sport?”

Texas High School Girl’s Softball is a great sport! Those High School girl pitchers can “smoke” that fast pitch.

[Sam's Army]

"I absolutely hate soccer and so do my kids ..."

Thanks for the update. I hate liver.

[Grunthor]

“Texas High School Girl’s Softball is a great sport! Those High School girl pitchers can “smoke” that fast pitch.”

Until they can hit a Felix Hernandez curveball or 4 seamer, I ain’t worried.

[Chode]

ok... i've tried watching a few mins just to see who was playing/score and there is a constant buzzing like bees that seems to never stop...

[Grunthor]

I give it one seaon.