Posted on 01/26/2011 2:41:47 PM PST by Da_Shrimp
I am sure that you will find someone and will not be lonely for the rest of your life. I can’t imagine from what you’ve said about yourself that there is not at least one man out there who will appreciate all of your good qualities. Hang in there. You’re on the right path. :)
I’m very sorry you had to go through all that...
My best regards to you.
Thanks, trisham. I’ve met a couple of men but I think they just want what they believe to be a “horny divorcee”. I know there are nice men out there and I’m a very patient gal. It’s probaby too soon to think about that anyway and I need to focus on getting an education and making something of myself.
It was very nice to meet you and I hope that with my kids grown and my being single, I will have spare time so I can post to FR and get to know my fellow conservatives. I read a lot here so some of the names are familiar.
Thank you, Dr. Scarpetta. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right?
My best regards to you, also. Nice to meet you.
I was divorced after 27 years.
That was 23 years ago.
Worked out well for both of us.
Chin up !!!!!!!!!
Nice to meet you too! Just remember to find out if a man is a conservative when you go out with him...:)
Well this is America. So just do what my older brother did and marry a foreign lady.
I knew two ladies (in their 50’s/60’s) whose husbands left them for a sweet young thing. Both were devastated, but they went to work & gradually re-built their lives. After awhile, they realized they were happier. They had total control of their lives & money. And their exes ended up much worse off, not that they were happy (in a vengeful way) about it.
Yours is a different situation, but there is hope. Depression is a very difficult thing to deal with (I know, it’s one I’ve had problems with). Your husband may find relief & realize he still needs you. But if that doesn’t happen, life is still good & you will survive. Something I was amazed to discover myself!
I look forward to getting to know you better. :)
MOMinTN, I’m sorry you’re going thru this. I was married 25 years before we got divorced. Your situation sounds eerily similar to mine. Depression, alcoholism; but we also had infidelity and internet porn thrown into the mix.
It DOES get better!! I’m about 3 years out. First year I allowed myself to mourn, wallow, and feel anger. Second year I slowly began rebuilding my life. Right now I am very happy and satisfied with my life. I am alone but far from lonely.
I can even be kind and civil to my ex during holiday celebrations now. It makes the situation much more happy and comfortable for my (mostly) grown kids and grandkids.
Best of luck to you. You’re still early in the process. Give yourself time to grieve and mourn. You need to do that in order to move on.
Thank you, Mears! That is very encouraging! When we separated and I moved into my Mom’s apartment, she told me not to be surprised if I find out I like being single after the last four years of what I went through! I have my kids and my 11 month old granddaughter and another grandbaby due in June!
It’s good to meet you!
Trying a tagline.....
Oh my goodness, if I ever go on a date and find he is a liberal, I’ll get up and leave. lol
Thanks for the reply, Twotone. I’m glad your friends are happy and doing so well.
I hope you find relief from your depression. I know from experience that it destroys lives and families. I will keep you in my prayers. If my soon to be ex ever gets relief, I don’t know that I would go back. Some bridges that burn can’t be rebuilt. He was very cruel when telling me he didn’t love me anymore and I will leave it at that.
So do I trisham! I like your tagline!
I wish you well. Believe me,you will look back at those years as “the bad old days” (Not always bad,of course,but I’m sure you get my meaning).
Happy,serene days ahead for you.
Hi Souixz. I’m so glad you posted your experience! Mourning, wallowing and feeling anger sound like exactly what I’m going through! The anger is subsiding, I’m done wallowing but mourning is where I seem to be stuck. It’s like a death. I need to bury the body and go on. My Mom said I’ll still have moments when I’m angry but I don’t like that feeling.
You sound like a strong woman and have given me much encouragement.
After what we have been through, it sounds like we are both better off, right?
BTW, Souixz, I got custody of the computer and found all kinds of disgusting stuff on it that I certainly didn’t put there. Did you feel less of a woman and like you weren’t giving him what he needed when you found that? I recently realized that I gave him exactly what a woman should give and he is the one with the problem. I’ve probably just revealed too much but who knows who may be reading and may be in the same situation and need encouraging words.
"Happy divorce" is a funny thing nobody says for good reason. I was involved in one so long ago I can't hardly even remember what her name was. In my current situation however, "Happy threat of divorce" seems to have won the day.
I'll offer a prayer for all of those like MOMinTN, a prayer for happiness, companionship, and love. As well as those like me who are fighting the good fight hoping to leave a legacy of standing on principle. In spite of the years ticking by, faith in God, and in love, is rewarding.
It’s not just a matter of talking things through, listening, and remembering what things used to be like when one member of the marriage starts screwing around. Sometimes things happen that just can’t be fixed. I suppose that since human nature doesn’t change, we have always had these situations, but now divorce is easier than it was decades ago, and there is no public excoriation of people who are unfaithful so it is not discouraged.
MOMinTN: It is exactly like a death. Not just of your marriage, but of your plans for the future, your hopes and your dreams. People need time to mourn that loss and not jump into another relationship. I was very gentle with myself. My soul was wounded and needed time to heal.
As far as the other, darker aspect, time and distance helped me to realize that my ex was a sexually, mentally, and morally sick man. My self image and appreciation of my many admirable qualities soared.
I am nearly 50 years old and NEVER pictured myself where I am today. After the divorce I got the guts to move south. I am an O.R. nurse in one of the top hospitals in the country. I live with my precious grandbabies, who are the absolute joy of my life. My daughter-in-law is one of my best friends and treats me like a queen.
Life will get better MOM. Freepmail me anytime you wish to chat!
My heart goes out to you MOMinTN. I have a similar, yet different distressing divorce tale. My prayer is that I don’t have to spend my life alone either.
Let me tell you about my dear friend, my substitute Mama. She met the love of her life at 72, she was a widow, he was a widower. They met at the wedding of her son and his daughter. They married four months later and spent 8 blissful years as husband and wife before he died.
He was an extraordinary man and she was his perfect mate.
Maybe that will somehow happen to us.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.