Amy's Place ... Poetry and Potpourri ... March, 2011

Extracts from UK Insurance Claim Forms
"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."
"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."
Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?
This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q: What warning was given by you?
A: Horn.
Q: What warning was given by the other party?
A: Moo.
"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge.
This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."
"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."
"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight."
"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."
Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature?
A: I watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.
"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."
"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again."
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."
"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."
"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."
"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face."
"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.
As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."
"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."
"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian."
"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."
"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

3,121 posted on 03/31/2011 2:12:33 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)

"Fine Request"
A pickpocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes. "Mr. Brewster," the judge said, "you are hereby found guilty and fined the sum of $150."

After consulting with his client, Mr. Brewster's lawyer stood up and said, "Your Honor, my client is a little short at this time. He has only $125 in his pocket, but if you would allow him a few minutes in the crowd..."

3,122 posted on 03/31/2011 2:22:46 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)

To: JustAmy; Billie; yorkie; tiapam; oldteen; MEG33; DollyCali; LUV W; lonestar; potlatch; Dubya; ...

BROTHER & SISTER DAY!
Big Brother Charlie and Me!
Look at my adoration
for him!

3,123 posted on 03/31/2011 2:31:32 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

This graphic is so adorable that I can’t hardly stand it! Just P R E C I O U S!!

3,124 posted on 03/31/2011 2:41:29 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

Oh my....the floodgates have opened here! So touching, yorkie.

3,125 posted on 03/31/2011 2:49:49 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

I saw a little of that before I left the house today! He’s her baby brother.

3,126 posted on 03/31/2011 2:51:09 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

Sweet graphic, teenie, thank you.

3,127 posted on 03/31/2011 2:52:03 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

Good afternoon, Billie.

I had forgotten this graphic. I don’t think I had every posted it. I could not find an upload anywhere. It is so cute; I was so happy to find it hidden in a file. :) Thank you for this sweet graphic.

So happy to hear that Roscoe is feeling so much better. Give him a big hug from all of us at Amy’s/

3,128 posted on 03/31/2011 2:52:24 PM PDT by JustAmy (I know God will not give me anything I canÂ’t handle. I just wish that He didnÂ’t trust me so much.Â)

I think it will be a cliffhanger. I’m a little excited about tonight.

3,129 posted on 03/31/2011 2:53:54 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

I loved this, yorkie.

3,130 posted on 03/31/2011 2:55:55 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

Glad to hear the good news that Roscoe has perked up! Our innocent animals can worry the dickens out of us!

3,131 posted on 03/31/2011 3:00:03 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

So, so cute, tiapam!!

3,132 posted on 03/31/2011 3:01:22 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

Is that cute or what???

3,133 posted on 03/31/2011 3:04:44 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

3,134 posted on 03/31/2011 3:05:51 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

And her brother made Beef Strogonoff, a favorite of mine. They were talking about the recipes their mother made. Don’t they make you hungry? They do me!!

3,135 posted on 03/31/2011 3:07:52 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

It would have made too many bytes....LOL!

3,136 posted on 03/31/2011 3:08:52 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

Those are hilarious, Dubya!

3,137 posted on 03/31/2011 3:11:09 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

That is such an adorable picture of you and your brother! You sure are looking up to him!!

3,138 posted on 03/31/2011 3:24:10 PM PDT by tiapam

3,139 posted on 03/31/2011 3:33:56 PM PDT by luvie (I'd rather be a Tea Partier than a FLEEbagger! :))

Thanks tiapam. He’s still a good brother. There was just the two of us. My mother lost a little girl when she was 2-1/2 years old and this was before my brother and I were born.

3,140 posted on 03/31/2011 4:14:02 PM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))

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