So when is it permissable to check out?

Self | 03/01/2011 | PhilStone

[Lazamataz]

If you check out now, you won't be able to piss on the graves of everyone you hate.

Hey, it keeps ME going....

[Yossarian]

Dittos - spoken as someone who had a neurosurgeon operate on my back.

Free Dumb - I see you’re in CA. If you’re in the Bay Area, I can get you in touch with my neurosurgeon, he’s supposedly the best in the whole state....

[Revolting cat!]

I’ve outlived my old man by 5 years now, and like him have now fallen into a pit, with thaqt difference that he did it for professional reasons, which I’ll never understand, and I for personal reasons.

Yeah, like you, I have heard the cliches the accusations of selfishness, of liberalism (yeah sure, we must both be Trotskyites!), the help line numbers and prayers.

Last year i was betrayed in the worst possible way at a worst possible time in one’s life, long after one becomes transparent to other potential partners of the opposite sex, and here I am this evening, drinking BV North Coast Riesling, like I did last night and the night before.

I went to clinics, to groups of ridiculous, embarrassing confession sessions which helped me none.

Isolation is my life, hopelessness, nothingness before I am dead. Nothing written above has appealed to me, persuaded me, and I sincerely hope that something does help you.

[Hammerhead]

Sell all your crap, move down south, buy some land, a small house or double-wide, get a good fishing boat, dog, maybe hunt small game, grow your own vegetables, maybe work or volunteer part time at a low stress place....relax and watch the sun rise and set, and read your Bible.

I myself cant wait to get to the point where my stuff doesn’t own me anymore.

[TigersEye]

Suicide is never a rational act. You don't need anyone's permission though it is your choice. It is one of the worst karmic acts you can choose though. It is also the most selfish thing you can do. You won't escape anything you will just add to your own suffering by an order of magnitude.

Those are the consequences and you will cause great suffering for those who love you.

[Army Air Corps]

It helps to have a goal. I still haven’t had the joy of passing water on the grave of Andrew Jackson.

[Lucius Cornelius Sulla]

Good Lord, yo u need more help than the OP. Talking about your suicide IN THE PAST TENSE is not a good sign. The death of one person diminishes everyone.

[nkronos]

“How much does God expect me to endure?”

The premise of this question answers itself. If you believe God expects you to endure something, then an omniscient being would not send you more trouble than He knows you can endure. And He would take you out Himself when He was done with you, rather than expecting you to make that call.

As far as suicide goes, unless you are in unbearable physical pain, I’ve seen too many valiant struggles for life to think it should be thrown away casually. Mental suffering—as opposed to the reality of physical suffering—is all in your mind. Read Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning” to learn how to endure mental anguish. Frankl lived through a concentration camp, so he knew how powerful the mind could be in over-coming one’s apparent circumstances.

Frankl wrote one thing that may explain your telling yourself that your daughter no longer needs you: “A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life.”

Press on.

[Razz Barry]

How much does God expect me to endure? When can I say "I've had enough?" At what point is it rational to jump off that bridge simply because one is tired of putting up with all the crap?

I say "I've had enough" several times a day. Several times a week I wish I were dead. I don't want to kill myself because I've seen the hurt it causes those who love you. But, I'm sooooo sick of the world being upside down. The good people are treated like trash while the trash is treated with kit gloves. Every thing is geared toward the lowest of the low. What's really bad is I'm fifty five and have been this way since childhood. The only things that keep me going are my; daughter, best friend, and dogs.

I think what you need is to get outdoors in the sun. I have a whole lot of yard work that needs to be done, and the outside of my house needs painting. Come on over and I'll let you help. I say this because it's about what a psychologist once told me. First he said "If you want to kill yourself, go ahead. Your life belongs to you." He was, I thought, a friend. I'm glad I wasn't paying him. That was over twenty years ago, who knows, maybe it helped. I know I almost never got the paint out of my hair.

Please, keep this in mind, we need everyone we can get to help with what's coming. Don't leave us here to face it alone.

[RoseyT]

Please check your Freepmail.

[freedumb2003]

>>Then tomorrow talk to your md about surgery..if you can’t do that and you don’t want to take meds...get a tens unit. It worked wonders for me.<<

I don’t know what a “tens unit” is — the MD said they could fuse the pinched discs but when he described how they go down the throat to do the surgery, I couldn’t do it. All my doctors (my GP and the OS) have been pretty consistent in saying I should give the external treatments a chance to work — it did work last time after about 6 weeks or so. This time it hurts a lot worse but I am going to tough it out.

>>The scapula/shoulder pain could be a sign of all sorts of things...did you get a diagnosis?<<
Just the one I posted above.

But this isn’t about me, and I really appreciate your concern. MY pity party was earlier this evening with some close friends.

I am much more concerned about the OP — I was just trying to draw some comparisons whilst noting empathy.

And in those endeavors I am most earnest.

*sigh* If I had thought it through the “hey, if you think your life so bad look at mine” approach just doesn’t work.

I just want the OP to stay off the bridge.

PH1K, please do not add agony to the world. I am sure you are a cool, even froody, dude.

We have enough agony AND need smart people to stay here.

But after this note, I leave you to your own course.

And, thanks to those who have weighed in on my pain. i will take your suggestions and recommendations seriously and do what I can.

And, as a final word, PH1K — please take note on how nice people are. I mentioned in passing my situation and have had a responses from people who really want to help.

That is a pretty doggone good world made up of pretty doggone good people. People who make it all worthwhile.

[Earthdweller]

Hmmmmm ..no reply in half an hour. Guess you aren’t going to talk to anyone huh PS? You better call somebody now BUD....

[mass55th]

Thanks Dolly. He’s been gone since ‘95. Doesn’t seem that long ago, and we all still miss him. His oldest grandson will be 7 this year. He’s very bright and into sports. My brother would have been in his glory being able to take him to practice and watch his games.

[freedumb2003]

>>If you’re in the Bay Area, I can get you in touch with my neurosurgeon, he’s supposedly the best in the whole state....<<

Thanks, my FRiend.

I live in Los Angeles, but work in Richmond VA.

What was the operation? The idea, as noted upthread, scares the heck out of me.

[Amberdawn]

I once felt exactly like you THROUGHOUT MY 20’s and 30’s. I learned to enjoy the little things in life and most of all, to concentrate on others instead of myself and what I thought was lacking. Try to imagine being hungry, cold, sick and miserable every day and then count your blessings.

[Yossarian]

RC - you’re an FR institution! Maybe an institution in need of institutionalization, and one I can disagree with, but you add to my life, man!

Faith - it is often what keeps me going. Faith is the drive to plod forward when it looks like there’s not any reason to plod forward. It will pay off in the end - and even if you think it won’t pay off for YOU, it will pay off for others who are in your life, WHETHER OR NOT YOU REALIZE YOU’RE IN THEIR LIFE!

I attended a funeral this fall for a very talented engineer who committed suicide in the most public of ways (jumping off a building). I never, ever, want to go through that again, nor put anyone else through that. The sense of unfathomable, inconsolable loss and damage to other people still haunts me 4 months later.

[mass55th]

I like your bottlecap. My sister has a wall hanging in her apartment that says:

"The more you complain, the longer God makes you live."

[Lucius Cornelius Sulla]

At this point a little levity. This is the WORST Opus thread I’ve ever seen!

[444Flyer]

Your life is not your own. It belongs to God first, then your daughter and your family. It belongs to your friends, both past and present. It belongs to every single person who has ever loved you. You're responsible not only for yourself but to everyone who cares about you. How would it effect them to suddenly have you 'check out'?

Instead, you need to have a complete physical to make sure you don't have an underlying health problem effecting your hormones and mood. Mid-life can wreak havoc on a person's body and temperament. Get to the bottom of what is really going on.

I'll be praying that you don't give in to the temptation to give up on life. It's a gift from God and if you're important enough to Him to still be around, well, then He isn't finished with you yet.

Come Unto Me

[maine-iac7]

So - how do you think she'll feel when she graduates - and there's no dad there?

How will she feel when she gets married and there's no dad to walk her down the aisle?

How will she feel when her first child is born and she can't put him/her in her dad's arms?

How will her children feel about not having their granddad - grandparents are very important to children.

hmmm - just maybe you're needed. For a long time yet.

Try a new tactic. Every day, when you get and look in the mirror and see that you are ‘still there’ - Ask yourself: “What can I do today - even a little thing, like maybe a phone call, or a lunch -, or take a flower, maybe a potted flower, maybe someone needs a ride somewhere, or a lawn mowed or a walk shoved (depending on where you are ;o) - - and make it a practice to find something to do for someone ELSE every day.

You might even find you feel good ;o)

Life is like the weather...no matter how bad the storm, the sun ALWAYS comes up again...but ya gotta open the curtains.