Posted on 04/15/2011 12:43:50 PM PDT by decimon
I moved out at 22. I never moved back, but got some spotty financial support until I was 27. I paid my own way to grad school, but got a few hundred here and there throughout and for a couple of months of an unemployment stint. I am thankful and wouldn’t be where I am today without it.
I agree, don’t want to retire here. But...a job is a job! I like to eat EVERY day. :)
Yes! I”m going to embarrass them with my clothing choices...heck maybe I’ll dye my hair and get a tattoo! :)
“Some parents were so controlling, micromanaging, and just generally interfering in their child’s lives that the kids had one hell of a time learning to be independent. I know of parents who sabotaged every independent move their offspring made ,and then criticized the “child” for not being more successful.
Remember the old sitcoms with the poor little CPA or salesgirl,whose live-in parent always had some emergency that caused cancelling the younger person’s plans?
I know of parents who expected/demanded the child to abandon her/his future plans to take care of the family business or sick family member.”
My upbringing in a nutshell. Which is why I’m on SSD and still dealing with mental issues.
Well, I was born in 1945 and nothing you wrote applies to me. Sure never saw a high-paying job or cheap housing.
I’m frustrated and angry to still be living with my parents at age 26. They are very happy that I’m there to help them with their problems but I’m still ashamed to be dependent. The only way to ever become financially useful to anybody is to save up for more education. I can’t physically manage an 80 hour work week. They would simply fire me for bad performance due to fatigue. It is also not an option to lose thousands of dollars a month on rent unnecessarily. I’ve already been back to school twice only to discover that the jobs disappeared by the time I graduated. My bachelor of science degree is worthless now because everyone wants specific experience. NOBODY in the state of CT is hiring for decent wage jobs unless the candidate has very specialized training and at least 1 year of experience.
If this **** keeps up then I’ll just put a ****ing bullet through my head. Time is running out.
Get even with your kids - move in with them. ;)
OBTW, the 1960 - 1965 crowd is screwed, financially.
Tail end of the ponzi scheme.
There are many paths and always have been. You are probably not as different as you think.
Get rid of the shame. You've nothing to be ashamed of.
May I ask the cause of your fatigue?
“My son, he can’t put the dishes in the dishwasher. It’s like they feel it’s an entitlement. I’m wondering if I made things too easy for them.”
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Gee, ya’ think? Idiot!
I’m 1957, but I still think we are screwed. Fortunately my husband is a planner, so we have planned for ourselves.
“May I ask the cause of your fatigue?:
It’s officially diagnosed as chronic fatigue syndrome. It’s possible that it will be treated some day with enough proper diet and exercise but that day has not yet come. I had to revert back to 3 cups of coffee a day just to make it through a 9 hour shift. It’s not a great plan but I can function at least.
WHY doesn’t this generation have that desire for independence that we had?
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Because they have been spoiled beyond belief, little has been demanded of them, and they have so few parental restrictions that they feel no need to free themselves of their parents.
They have the benefits of adulthood without the responsibilities.
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Exactly!
I don’t agree with the “Kids are spoiled” take.
For millions of years, it has been the norm in human society for many generations to live together.
The young adults take care of the old, the old take care of - and teach - the children of the young adults.
This is a norm, and the last 40 years or so are an anomoly. A function of wealth, really. But Obama has redistributed that.
My wife and I are going to park our RV in our kids front yard and stay several months when the weather is nice.
High paying job? No.
Inexpensive housing? Well, yeah. My first apartment was pretty cheap, but it was also in a bad neighborhood, a stone's throw away from a prison. (My mother was not happy about that.)
Young people today don't believe in starting out at the bottom. It's got to be a house right away and brand new furniture. In my day, you started out with other people's give away furniture. Try getting your kids to take your cast-offs these day.
30 year olds are not children...they are not really even young adults. My husband and I were laughing about that the other day. We were talking about our sons and calling them *boys*. The youngest is now 30. They are all men (all married and living on their own and supporting themselves).
It seriously depends on what these people who live with their parents are doing. Are they making any attempt to take care of themselves? Are they sitting around playing video games? Are they helping out? I do think we do a huge disservice when we give them everything an adult gets when they are 16 (sex, cars, big kid toys) but don’t shove them out into the cold cruel world to let them also get the hard knocks that adults take.
So, you may disagree with me, and that’s fine, I can take it, it’s what FR is all about (I don’t ascribe to the—”If you disagree with me you are a liberal or an idiot or a troll!” mentality that so many here seem to). And there is some merit in what you say. But there are also a lot of ungrown up *kids* who would be living on you and me if Mom and/or Dad were not taking care of them.
It is the difference between being raised in an environment which fosters self-respect versus self-esteem.
From the article: "I left home at 17 and never looked back," she said. "I felt like once I left my parents' house, I would have been a failure to go back."
It was socially stigmatizing to older generations to fail. It was damaging to one's sense of self-respect.
Those raised on self-esteem need no accomplishments to esteem themselves.
Regardless of how we may attempt to tweak the meme, the self-esteem thing is deeply pervasive in modern educational systems.
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