“The End is Near”
A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” They held up the sign to each passing car.
“Leave us alone, you religious nuts!” yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard a big splash.
“Do you think,” said one clergy to the other, “we should just put up a sign that says ‘bridge out’ instead?”
“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.” - Mark Twain
“Real Skill”
There was a rich man who was deliberately hard on his farmhand. He gave him a bottle and said, “Buy me a bottle of wine.”
The farmhand asked, “How can I buy you wine with no money at all?”
The rich man said, “Anyone can buy wine with money. It takes real skill to buy wine without money.”
After a while the farmhand returned with the empty bottle. He handed the bottle to the rich man and said, “Enjoy the wine, please.”
Staring at the empty bottle, the rich man asked, “There is no wine, how can I enjoy this?”
The farmhand said, “Anyone can enjoy wine if there is some. It takes real skill to enjoy wine when there is none.”
“An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason.” - C. S. Lewis