You mention your daughter is Asperger’s. Is the sitter girl as well? Her father or both parents? The whole interaction sounds so lacking in empathy for people, blunt and inappropriate.
They have your dog, and changing that circumstance seems not to be within your control at present. Play nice as far as they’re concerned. Objective is to get her back. Quietly find out where they are. It sounds as if you’ve been lied to already. There’s no good reason for lying but plenty of bad ones.
Good luck and keep a lid on it until you get her back. Then, let loose with whatever. Bringing police into the matter rarely helps the immediate situation and almost always aggravates it, so if you can leave them out until you have the dog back I’d certainly do so.
Our older daughter is 15. Our daughter with Asperger’s is 12. As far as I know, the dog-sitter is healthy and not on the autism spectrum. But I see your point.
I know very little, but there is a young adult living in the home who appears to have a full-time live-in nurse/caretaker. And attempting an online search last night of the family name, the mother sits on the Board of Directors for a law school in another part of the country *and* she is personally supports the furthering of autism awareness. So maybe the person being cared for in her home is dx’d with a form of autism; just a guess. I’m guessing my daughter doesn’t matter to her.
I don’t know what to think. I appreciate your time and thoughts.