Comments made in the year 1957:
“I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it’s going to be impossible to buy a week’s groceries for$20.”
“Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won’t be long before $5000 will only buy a used one.”
“Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?”
“If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.”
“When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we’d be better off leaving the car in the garage.”
“Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.”
“I read the other day where some scientist thinks it’s possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.”
“Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn’t surprise me if someday they’ll be making more than the president.”
“I never thought I’d see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric . . . they are even making electric typewriters now.”
“It’s too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.”
“It won’t be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.”
“Marriage doesn’t mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat.”
“I’m just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.”
“Thank goodness I won’t live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress.”
“The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.”
“There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel.”
“No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood.”
“If they think I’ll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.”
The Top Ten Reasons Men Should Join the Church Choir
10. Rehearsals are every Wednesday night. Which means that for those few hours, you will significantly reduce your risk of contracting tendinitis from nonstop operation of a television remote control or computer mouse.
9. Because you wear a choir robe every Sunday, you are liberated from a task many men find quite challenging: finding clothes that match properly
8. From your special vantage point every Sunday, in which you look out at the entire congregation from the choir seats, you will develop interesting new hobbies. Among these is a little guessing game called “Who’s Praying, Who’s Sleeping?”
7. On the other hand, sitting in full view of 400-500 people on a weekly basis makes it much less likely that you yourself will give in to a chronic lack of sleep. Although it has been known to happen.
6. If you think your singing in the shower sounds good now, just wait till you’ve been singing with us for a few weeks.
5. Singing in a choir is one of the few activities for men that does not require electronics equipment or expensive power tools. This could be good for the family budget.
4. For the fitness buffs, singing in the Choir is not only heart healthy, it’s soul healthy. But there are no monthly membership fees, and it’s a lot easier on the knees than jogging.
3. If you think you’ve done everything there is to do, and there are no great challenges left in life, try singing with us guys and staying on pitch.
2. Choir rehearsal lasts half as long as a professional football game, but is at least twice as satisfying. This is especially true if you are a long-suffering fan of the Washington Redskins. (Don’t worry, though, the rehearsals are on Wednesday, not Monday Nights.)
And the number 1 reason men should join the choir:
1. When people ask you whether you’ve been behaving yourself, you can say with the utmost sincerity, “Hey, I’m a Choir Boy.”
Hamlet’s Cat’s Soliloquy
To go outside, and there perchance to stay
Or to remain within: that is the question:
Whether ‘tis better for a cat to suffer
The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather
That Nature rains on those who roam abroad,
Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet,
And so by dozing melt the solid hours
That clog the clock’s bright gears with sullen time
And stall the dinner bell.
To sit, to stare Outdoors, and by a stare to seem to state
A wish to venture forth without delay,
Then when the portal’s opened up, to stand
As if transfixed by doubt.
To prowl; to sleep;
To choose not knowing when we may once more
Our readmittance gain: aye, there’s the hairball;
For if a paw were shaped to turn a knob,
Or work a lock or slip a window-catch,
And going out and coming in were made
As simple as the breaking of a bowl,
What cat would bear the household’s petty plagues,
The cook’s well-practiced kicks, the butler’s broom,
The infant’s careless pokes, the tickled ears,
The trampled tail, and all the daily shocks
That fur is heir to, when, of his own free will,
He might his exodus or entrance make
With a mere mitten?
Who would spaniels fear,
Or strays trespassing from a neighbor’s yard,
But that the dread of our unheeded cries
And scratches at a barricaded door
No claw can open up, dispels our nerve
And makes us rather bear our humans’ faults
Than run away to unguessed miseries?
Thus caution doth make house cats of us all;
And thus the bristling hair of resolution
Is softened up with the pale brush of thought,
And since our choices hinge on weighty things,
We pause upon the threshold of decision.
~shakespaw