(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

[TomGuy]

I found this sale item on the walmart.com website a few years ago. I had to made a screencap:
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[mojitojoe]

Ted Nugent
How Deer Think

Deer Hunting Story...even if you don’t care about hunting...Gotta Love Ted!
Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, an animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, ‘What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, ‘Are you my friend?’ or is it ‘Are you the one who killed my brother?
Nugent replied, ‘Deer aren’t capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, what am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the Democrats in Congress.’

[Doogle]

that guy has to go through three pair of shoes a week

[absolootezer0]

‘What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, ‘Are you my friend?’ or is it ‘Are you the one who killed my brother?

lol.. reminds me of HHGTTG..

The Book: It is important to note that suddenly, and against all probability, a Sperm Whale had been called into existence, several miles above the surface of an alien planet and since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity. This is what it thought, as it fell:
The Whale: Ahhh! Woooh! What's happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? Okay okay, calm down calm down get a grip now. Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? Its a sort of tingling in my... well I suppose I better start finding names for things. Lets call it a... tail! Yeah! Tail! And hey, what's this roaring sound, whooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head? Wind! Is that a good name? It'll do. Yeah, this is really exciting. I'm dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There's an awful lot of that now isn't it? And what's this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round', 'Ground'! That's it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me? Hello Ground!
*SPLAT!*

[martin_fierro]

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

Interviewer: What’s the last thing that goes through that deer’s mind?

Ted: My arrow.

[dragonblustar]

[Lucky9teen]

[Lucky9teen]

[Lucky9teen]

Can't wait for the snow...

[Lucky9teen]

[Lucky9teen]

[fredhead]

Last weekend, as is our family tradition, we put up the Christmas decorations. After years of having to troubleshoot and fix the outside lights, last year I replaced them with LED lights. I thought that all the trouble was over.

So this year, I just stretched them out, connected them together, and hung them on the house.

I plugged them in, and three strings are dead.

[Lazlo in PA]

[motivated]

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend

“That’s us in 10 years”.

He said “That’s a mirror, dip-sh!t!
______

When you’re from the country, your perception is a little different.......

An Iowa farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbor’s, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door

“Is your Dad home?”

“No sir, he isn’t; he went to town.”

“Well, is your Mother here?”

“No sir, she went to town with Dad.”

“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”

“No sir, He went with Mom and Dad.”

The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

“Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message.”

“Well,” said the rancher uncomfortably, “I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It’s about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant.”’

The boy thought for a moment. “You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don’t know how much he charges for Howard.”

[motivated]

[dragonblustar]

[Lucky9teen]

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

Mr. C pities the fool...

[Living Free in NH]

I plugged them in, and three strings are dead.

See there? As advertised, those LEDs are saving energy. You can thank Algore.