When I was a lad I could not see
A hand held up in front of me
In spite of how I’d squint and peer
I couldn’t tell my father from my mother dear
My eyes were oh so very, very weak
That now I am an umpire in the National League
His eyes were oh so very, very weak
That now he is an umpire in the National League
As an umpire I gained great fame
I called a player out who wasn’t in the game
Another decision which you may have heard
I’m the guy who made ******* stay on third
My life is a failure, I’m up the creek
That’s why I am an umpire in the National League
His life is a failure, he’s up the creek
That’s why he is an umpire in the National League
HAA!!! I was thinking the same thing, Vision! I started to write you that I LOVE this “Umpire in the Major League” song! But, I was busy in the kitchen cooking. I’m with you—a swell song, it makes you smile!