Posted on 05/11/2012 5:53:26 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Edited on 05/11/2012 11:30:03 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]
The World’s Economic Viruses
Government Virus - Nothing seems to get better, but all the elected officials say it’s getting better.
Political Virus - Doesn’t actually do anything, but you can’t get rid of it until the next election.
Econometrician Virus - Sixty percent of the economies infected will lose 17 percent of their GDP 12 percent of the time (+/- a 2% margin of error).
Marxian Virus - Helps your economy go into a depression whenever it wants to.
Environmental Virus - Before allowing you to fix the recession, it first asks you if you’ve considered the alternatives.
Chinese Virus - Crashes your economy, but denies it ever happened and calls you a liar.
AIG Virus - Makes sure it’s too big to fail, while crashing everything else.
Stimulus Virus - Puts your economy in a recession for four years. When you finally recover, you’re 10 trillion more dollars in debt.
The Economy Is So Bad That...
· I got a pre-declined credit card offer in the mail.
· Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
· Parents in Bevery Hills are considering raising their own children.
· I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.
· A prostitute asked me if she could borrow $20 until she can get back on her back.
· I saw a van full of legal immigrants illegally crossing the border into Mexico.
· I saw four CEOs playing miniature golf.
· Even people who aren’t in Barack Obama’s cabinet aren’t paying taxes.
Oh wait, that’s only 9 of them... darn recession is scaling down everything.
Happy Mothers Day!
Lucky,
It was posted last week that we’re not supposed to post the cartoons of the grumpy old lady (I can’t remember her name). It’s a copywright thing. Maybe that’s why your PING got pulled.
Rep. Chaka Fattah, D-Penn. "Unemployment continues to drop and those people who are unemployed, they’re not going to be voting for the party who wants to cut their benefits – cut access to food stamps, cut job training,"
Just in case you all missed this - it seems that the Republicans are not the only ones complaining; check this out and ping your FRiends:
Betcha Momma's pissed!!!!
Gah! That’s a double, “G,” in Flagg.
(I didn’t get your last ping)
These children may have spinal disorders, or brain disorders, and riding backwards helps them to gain some balance.
The disabled should not be linked to the Disabler.
No Maxine cartoons allowed. New rule from 5/10/12 I think.
Dang! For the guy who says his ancestors (slaves) helped to build this country, I say, “So what? I had at least one ancestor who came to this country as an indentured servant. The difference is, I have tried to make them proud of me, rather than be ashamed to call me a descendant.
That is such a totally nasty attitude...”I’m not lookin’ fo’ a job. A career maybe, but not a job.” Who’s gonna hire him?
1. Tissue Box Photo Cover $9.95- I love photos as much as the next Mom, but just because you can stick a photograph on something doesn’t mean that you should. When in doubt, go with a traditional frame, and don’t turn Mom’s treasured pictures into creepy keepsakes.
2. Chinchilla Apron $39.95 – Even though this Chinchilla Apron is faux, it has no place in the kitchen…or anywhere else.
3. Face Slimmer Duck Mask sold by the Japanese Trend Shop $78 – There are so many things wrong with giving this to Mom as a gift, or to anyone at anytime, that I really don’t know where to start. Let’s just state part of the obvious and say that you should avoid gifts that insinuate that Mom needs to do exercises to slim down her fat face. Also, look at this thing! It looks like a …WTF?
4. Picnic Pants – Have you noticed that your Mom rarely picnics anymore? Is it because she’s too busy? Is it because her arms are full with diaper bags, purses, etc. and she just doesn’t have a free hand to tote around the necessary picnic blanket? Or perhaps it’s because her regular Mom jeans don’t allow her to eat off her lap with ease? Well, have I got a product for you! Picnic Pants! Mom can enjoy eating out of her lap anywhere she can sit cross-legged (BONUS cup holder on her pant leg too)! I have no idea how much these cost because I could only stand to look at this site long enough to copy the link and the ridiculous picture.
5. Assorted Chocolate Crocheted Satchels $25- Really? Crocheted Chocolates? These were being advertised for Mother’s Day specifically, and what’s the message this gift sends to dear old Mom? Hey Mom, I know you love to eat chocolate, but maybe you should just look at it instead. Oh, but don’t worry, it smells like the real thing! Enjoy! For $25 go buy your Mom some real chocolate…seriously. I’m sure she’s earned at least that much by being your mother.
6. Subtle Butt Gas Filters 11.95 – Leave the fart jokes and these gassy ass filters for Father’s Day. Please.
7. Houreisen Face Exercise Mask $92 -Last year’s hockey mask made such an impression on you, I had to include another this year too. This one makes Mom look like she should be a professional wrestler…if you really want to give her a great gift, how about an actual facial? A spa treatment says you care, whereas a facial exercise mask says you’re kind of an ass.
8. Hand Dipped Roses 19.99-799.99 – For $19.99 go buy a beautiful, real bouquet for Mother’s Day…fresh flowers are always a nice gesture. And if you’re planning on shelling out nearly $800 for Mother’s Day, you could get some fabulous gold bling (and score some major points) with jewelry, instead of this odd, expensive floral thing.
9. Cooking For the Clueless DVD $18.99- I know someone who once received cooking lessons for Mother’s Day. Now, I’m not saying this was the reason, but she is divorced now… Even if Mom really, truly needs them, Mother’s Day is not the time to give the gift of better cooking.
10. The Emergency Bra $49.99 - Is your Mom constantly worried about being in an emergency situation without a gas mask? Does the gas mask she owns take up too much space in her purse (who’s doesn’t)? Well, Mom can relax and look stylish in her new Emergency Bra. If the moment arises, these safety cups can cover her mouth and allow Mom to breathe with ease. Whew! Function meets fashion with this handy under garment!
Must... have... that... one....
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