Anybody saying the “just happened” is excuse mongering. As I said before, every part of the act of having an affair are voluntary actions, there aren’t Fu Manchu women out there, they don’t have mind control power. At some point in the process, probably multiple some points given how the path from the bar to the bedroom generally works, the person having an affair DECIDED to take that next step.
I’m not saying my will is strong, or that I’m exceedingly moral, I’m just pointing out that the people saying they can’t be trusted to be friends with women are skipping some portion of the decision action matrix.
And if you really want to talk about the stats how about the surveys that say that most affairs are not friends turning into mistresses, they’re hookups with random people, on the road in the bar, nights “out with the boys” that really aren’t. The female friends are NOT the danger zone, neither are the co-workers, that chick in the tight skirt at the bar where you went to unwind is.
I don’t think culturally we have that big a problem. The divorce stats get skewed. The problem is there’s this chunk of the population that doesn’t seem to get the idea of “til death do us part” and they wind up on the Larry King/ Liz Taylor path. So they get married and divorced and married again and divorced again. Most of the folks over 40 I know that have 1 ex have more than 1 ex. And these folks with 3, 4, 5 divorces in their life represent a lot of people with none. It’s really telling when you see the divorce rate sliced up by people rather than by marriages, that’s when you start seeing that it’s 20 to 30% of the people getting the divorces, rather than 50% of the marriages failing.
Do you have a link to that? Maybe for some men. Nearly every case I have seen(including mine) it was between friends and coworkers.
Women don't normally have one night stands with strangers when they are married. Women have affairs because of their perceived lack of love and affection they are not getting from their husband which leads them to having an affair. Most women need an emotional basis with the man to have sex with him...not all cases but generally.
Men are the complete opposite..we don't need an emotional connection or have to feel love with the woman-might not even like her...we just want the physical release.
Of course they are.
every part of the act of having an affair are voluntary actions
Of course they are.
...the person having an affair DECIDED to take that next step.
Of course they did.
I’m just pointing out that the people saying they can’t be trusted to be friends with women are skipping some portion of the decision action matrix.
I can't speak for "most" people but personally I'm not saying that at all. What I am saying is that spending a lot of alone time with an attractive member of the opposite sex causes perfectly natural biological desires occur. Now we don't need to act on those desires, just like we don't need to have lots of sugar and carbs, just like we don't need another beer, just like we don't need to smoke another cigarette, have another cup of coffee, watch another network TV show, (which incidentally desensitizes the culture to infidelity) or spend another 2 hours watching some sporting event. Culturally people do all of these things and more. We live in a licentacious society surrounded depravity and an obvious lack personal responsibility.
And if you really want to talk about the stats how about the surveys that say that most affairs are not friends turning into mistresses, they’re hookups with random people, on the road in the bar, nights “out with the boys” that really aren’t.
Please point out what surveys you are referring too? Serial adulterers would tend to skew this I think. I know both men and women who happily cheat with whomever says yes but they have no intent of ever losing their spouses over it. Then there are those that are looking for replacement spouses.
I don’t think culturally we have that big a problem.
I think culturally we have really big problems.
While I tend to agree with you concerning divorce stats, not all affairs result in a divorce so I'm not sure where you are going with this.