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Seriously?

Throw yourself on the mercy of the owner, ask for advice and recommendations to avoid the really hot stuff.

Lassi is a yoghurt based beverage, kinda like a smoothie. Get mango lassi, it’s delicious and is very soothing if you get something hotter than expected.

Naan is a flat bread, it’s almost, but not quite totally unlike pita, tortillas, injera and pancakes. It is used to pick up food where there are no forks and spoons.

Biranai is something like fried rice, only not fried. Mild, filling, flavorful. Don’t be surprised if you find raisins in it.

Currys range from mild to OH MY GAWD.

A tandoor is a clay oven, tandoori refers to pretty much anything cooked in one. Tandoori chicken is spiced and roasted in a tandoor. It has a bright read color from the spices, a fairly mild flavor with charcoal grilled notes, usually comes with onion and peppers, think of a shiskabob.

Chutneys are like salsas made with a fruit rather than tomato base. Like Mexican salsas, the heat varies from mild to lava. Expect the dominant flavors to tend towards sweet and tart.

Pakoras are battered and fried vegetables. Avoid the green chillies, that’s like a lottery, nine out of ten are mild. The tenth one tries to make up for it.

Samosas are triangular pyramids full of vegetables, mild, flavorful filling, and always a hit at pot lucks.

Paneer is a stewed spinach with cubes of farmer cheese, you’ll go back for seconds on this one.

Chicken Tika Masala is a treat, chunks of boneless chicken in a buttery orange curry. Great with jasmine rice.

Lamb dishes tend to be fatty, and tend to have chunks of bone. Good flavors, though.

No beef anywhere in an Indian restaurant, but one can find it in Pakistani restaurants with spicing the Indians would use.

Take a little of everything the owner hasn’t warned you is too hot. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.

Go back and get more of what you liked. Enjoy some more.

Waddle out and report back to us. ‘mkay?