Get a Glock 23 in .40S&W. Quantity has its own quality.
Better than a 9mm, could be a bit wide for dainty hands.
Its simple to use plus the latest generations have a rail to mount a compact light. And some even come with a laser and light.
My ladyfriend actually like the feel of a Smith and Wesson Sigma in 9mm. Sigma is cheap, triggers can be dodgy with a long hard pull until you wear them in. And they do have compact Glocks but you lose shots available, and unless you can get the first two shots on target the very first time having 13 rounds or so gives you an edge. And Glocks are super easy to tear down to clean plus have a lot of aftermarket options for the barrels, the grips, plugs, mag release and so on.
I love my .40 caliber Glocks and mostly carry the G23 but the recoil is definitely more than a 9 mm. I don’t mind it but I know a lot of women do.