When they want petted, they like being petted. When they don’t want petted, petting them just makes them angry. I won’t restate my theory about guys being like dogs and women being like cats here.
My guess is that they forced themselves on a bunch of cats that weren’t in the mood.
True, they want what they want; like when my cat leaps onto my chest, claws extended, hanging on for life as he massages my chin with his head - I take it as a subtle hint that he wants me to hold him. Other times, not so much.