Posted on 12/06/2013 4:36:39 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Edited on 12/06/2013 4:50:12 AM PST by Admin Moderator. [history]
Those are brilliant!
Lol
Health, time and intelligence!
"
Wonder Woman’s invisible plane.
Good one!
Which reminds me: Who is Will, and why are you asking me to fire at him?
The Female Genie...
While walking on a beach during one of his many vacations,
Obama found a bottle on the sand and picked it up.
Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with
a smile said, “Master, may I grant you one wish?”
Osama responded, “ Don’t you know who I am?
I don’t need any common woman giving me anything.”
The shocked genie said, “Please, I must grant you a
wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever.”
Obama thought a moment, then after grumbling about the
impertinence of the woman said, “Very well, I want to awaken
with three white women in my bed in the morning. So
just do it and be off with you.
“The annoyed genie said, “So be it!” and disappeared.
The next morning Obama awakened with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya
Harding and Nancy Pelosi in his bed.
His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had
no health insurance.
God is good....
The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leans towards President Obama and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my
hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary
display, but will go deep into their hearts and they’ll forever speak of this day and rejoice!”
Obama replied, “I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand....Show me!”
So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage!
AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY and there was happiness throughout the land!
You’re on a roll today, Miss !!
I have the same feeling almost every morning......
A little girl asked her Mom, “Mommy, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage,” says Mom.
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Daddy, may I take Bella for a walk around the block? I asked Mommy, but she said Bella is in heat, and to come ask you.”
Dad said, “Bring Bella over here.” Being old school he took a rag, soaked it with a little gasoline, and dabbed the dog’s backside with it to disguise the scent, and said, “OK, you can go now, but keep Bella on the leash and only go one time round the block.”
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Bella?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block so another dog is pushing her home.”
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