Anytime I get stuck behind a real slowpoke, I can guarantee you the vehicle will be a beige, or perhaps a silver, Buick. Always. The driver, either male or female will be driving with their hands at 11 and 1 on the wheel and their chin resting on the wheel smack dab in the middle. The driver has no idea where the front and the rear of the vehicle are because they aren’t about to turn their to look. Backing out of a parking space is an excruciatingly slow process for this reason.
And for the record, I will be 69 in a month and I am driving a new turquoise CRV. Hehe.
Buicks have other purposes.
When travelling and it gets to meal time, I look in parking lots of resturants. I look for cop cars and buicks.
The cops know the area and old folks don’t waste their money on bad food. Spot a herd of buicks and you are in tall cotton.
Slowpokes here tend to be one of three vehicles: A Jeep CJ with manual transmission (why they’re driven so slow I don’t know but they are), a Toyota Prius driver trying to get maximum mileage or, as you say, a nineties Buick Regal or LeSabre driven by an elderly person.
Your rice rocket wouldn’t stand a chance against my light bronze mist metallic (looks kinda beige) 2000 Buick Park Avenue Ultra with factory supercharger. I tweaked it with a smaller pulley on the supercharger for 25 more HP.