I am probably the last man on earth to try to give someone advice. However, my suggestion is, go to the nearest church and ask for help. Priest preacher or rabbi, I don’t think it matters. Then have a long talk with the Lord.
Good luck and God bless.
I agree. Jesus is standing next to you right now. Honest injun. Ask him what you should do. Be aware he knows everything about you.
And one other thing. Focus on good things and happy things. Even when your deep in the crap. If you focus on good things, your headed for good. If you focus on bad things, your headed for bad.