Posted on 02/06/2015 4:26:13 AM PST by Lucky9teen
LMAO at the H.S. Analogies.
How do you kiss a duck without getting down in the mouth?
Top 65!
0bama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. “Hello, President 0bama” a heavily accented southern voice said. “This is Jimmy Boy, down here at Bump’s Catfish Shack, in Vicksburg, and I am callin’ to tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on y’all!”
“Well Jimmy Boy,” 0bama replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”
“Right now,” said Jimmy Boy, after a moments calculation “there is myself, my cousin Tom, my next-door-neighbor and brother Gerald, and the whole dart team from JD’s Bait Shop. That makes eight or maybe nine depending if Bump can close the store.
0bama paused. “I must tell you Jimmy Boy that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Wow,” said Jimmy Boy. “I’ll have to call ya back!”
Sure enough, the next day, Jimmy Boy called again. “Mr. 0bama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be Jimmy Boy?” 0bama asked.
“Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and my brother Mike’s farm tractor.”
0bama sighed. “I must tell you Jimmy Boy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I’ve increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke.”
“Lord above”, said Jimmy Boy, “I’ll be getting back to ya.”
Sure enough, Jimmy Boy called again the next day. “President 0bama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war.”
“I’m sorry to hear that” said 0bama. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
Well, sir,” said Jimmy Boy, “we’ve all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, catfish, greens and pie and come to realize that there’s just no way we can feed that many prisoners.”
SOUTHERN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!
GOD BLESS EVERYBODY!
Do transsexuals think that they REALLY look like woman or honor them?
![](http://farm9.static.flickr.com/8496/8311590794_ede5ae18ee_m.jpg"")
I just told that joke to my Wife (Using the proper accents) and she laughed for about five minutes.
Best book ever written on the subject.
You have to read the reviews
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.