***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

1 posted on 05/01/2015 5:39:21 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Woohoo!! It’s Friday!!!

2 posted on 05/01/2015 5:39:44 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)

3 posted on 05/01/2015 5:40:18 AM PDT by left that other site (You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)

5 posted on 05/01/2015 5:41:39 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)

To: left that other site

6 posted on 05/01/2015 5:41:40 AM PDT by left that other site (You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)

7 posted on 05/01/2015 5:42:53 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)

8 posted on 05/01/2015 5:42:53 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)

Hooray Hooray - first of May
outside shagging begins today!

10 posted on 05/01/2015 5:43:47 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)

11 posted on 05/01/2015 5:43:47 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)

12 posted on 05/01/2015 5:44:49 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)

To: left that other site

13 posted on 05/01/2015 5:45:58 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)

I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having sex, like: I'm tired. -or- I'm washing my hair. -or- I've got a headache. -or- I'm your sister.
--
Sorry for not calling you recently, but I just got out of jail. I was locked up for punching this idiot at a party. In my defense, when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in.
--
Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor orphans. I said, "No thanks. Knowing my luck, I'd win one!"

h/t Ralph

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children in her class what their mothers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- teacher, nurse, businesswoman, saleswoman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

However, little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher gently prodded him about his mother, he replied, "Well my mother's an exotic dancer in a club and takes off all her clothes in front of men, and they put money in her underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, she will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this bold statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Johnny aside to quietly ask him, "Is that really true about your mother, dear?"

"Nope," the boy said, "She works for the Democrat National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be the next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

h/t Bill

Caption for reply #1, "I am a world renowned palm reader and this does not look good. I suggest a low profile for the rest of your life."

14 posted on 05/01/2015 5:47:29 AM PDT by upchuck (The current Federal Governent is what the Founding Fathers tried to prevent. WAKE UP!! Amendment V.)

15 posted on 05/01/2015 5:47:35 AM PDT by PROCON (CRUZing into 2016 with Ted!)

16 posted on 05/01/2015 5:49:21 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)

17 posted on 05/01/2015 5:49:36 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)

To: Liberty Valance

18 posted on 05/01/2015 5:50:09 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)

19 posted on 05/01/2015 5:51:42 AM PDT by TADSLOS (A Ted Cruz Happy Warrior! GO TED!)

20 posted on 05/01/2015 5:52:10 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)

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