I’ve been there and done that too. It’s frustrating.
Of course there’s some men you wind up doing that for too, some join to collect the paycheck and do as little as possible. I detest that as well.
Guyarund the corner from me joined the national guard to get his free college and benefits.
e wears his uniform to chic-fil-a and then changes out of it as soon as he gets home.
People like that and there are may in todays military are just as bad as what you described.