I head a comedian tell that once, and it's still hilarious.
Posted on 08/07/2015 2:48:37 PM PDT by rickmichaels
Nothing wrong with whisky girls...
My WORST date ever: I was picked up at home to go to lunch with a guy. He asked if we could stop for “just a minute” so he could check out some woods (he had written permission from the owner to hunt deer on it). I stayed in the car and when he came back, he said, “You know, I could bury you out there and no one would ever find you”. Then he laughed. You know that electrical shock you feel run through your body when you get really, REALLY scared?! Well.. yeah.. needless to say, I never went out with him again.
As per your post:
1. I will make America great again”
2. Donald Hussein Trump Newbama!
3. Wooooooo!!!
4. I am the greatest!!!
5. Don’t ask me anything, I will throw a fit and trash you on Twitter
Gee, who could that be? Jeb? Cruz? et al? As I said, you're about as subtle as Megyn. You tailor your snarks to fit only one person, then come on all doe-eyed that you never mentioned anyone by name. Your disingenuous would fit right in at MSNBC - or FOX.
Women know in the first few seconds if it will never go anywhere beyond ‘friends’. They are certain of what they dont want. They are however extremely uncertain of what they do want. That’s where you have a chance. :-)
Stateside.
All in the eye of the beholder
lol
See when the wife and I go to movie and/ or dinner it’s not date night, it’s going to a movie and/ or dinner. “Date” has a very specific meaning, which to me included wearing uncomfortable clothing, and spending dinner lying to each other. Date night means the possibility of adding to the list of this story, with your spouse. Yuch. I’d much rather have fun.
When he says “OMG my ankle bracelet just alarmed. My parole officer is going to be really mad”
I head a comedian tell that once, and it's still hilarious.
As in line two??
I don't believe we own uncomfortable clothes and why would we lie to each other?
Date night is just a time when we go out and have fun together.
Then again, a girl who says "yes sir" and is suitably compliant may mean that I can leave the bag full of rope and duct tape at home.
1. Online dating site, fellow seems normal enough, pass go and progress to coffee date. I provide my photo, request his, so we can find each other in crowded venue. He sends photo of Eddie Munster. I pretend not to notice the subterfuge, but “confess” that my photo was old and I now have an inoperable brain tumor “that looks almost like an extra little head growing next to my ear” and ask if he still wants to meet. He does not respond.
2. Blind date with a recently divorced millionaire in Rolls Royce. On the way to restaurant, tells me the dollar cost of his car, his mansion, his Armani suit, his pinky ring, and his “douchebag” ex-wife’s lawyer. At restaurant, he converses in Italian with obviously gay waiter, takes waiter out to the parking lot to show him his car. Returns to table to discover his date (me) has slipped out the side door and grabbed a cab. Later tells friend who arranged blind date that he “actually prefers” “difficult” women and wonders if **I** would like to see **him** again. I ask our mutual friend to please convey my regrets.
3. Another blind date. He arrived early. He’s wearing an ill-fitting toupee and has already ordered and begun eating his dinner—a HUGE sausage which looked for all the world like a giant turd. I had a salad and watched toupee guy sawing on the turd-like sausage; at one point, he went to men’s room and adjusted his toupee. I could see little spots of fresh glue.
No, we don’t do a date night. When we want to go out and do stuff we go out and do stuff. Just got back from a movie... and grocery shopping.
Because that’s what dates are. Lying to somebody hoping to impress them.
Date night is trying to get the spousal thing to be more like the dating thing. But since dating sucks it’s a bad goal.
#11: You finish half a draft beer while she’s on her second whiskey on rocks.
Compromise, both of you should drink tequila.
looks like Flo from the car insurance commercials
ewwwwwwwww!!!
I never did it that way and I don't think that my husband did either. What would be the point?
Now I can not say that I did not go out with a few liars before finding him but most of them were honest men. I guess I still don't get contemporary culture.
It’s not really contemporary. It’s just how it is. Dates are a known time of fibbing. They’re like job interviews. And much like how job interviews are actually a terrible way to get to know a prospective employee dates are a terrible way to get to know a prospective mate.
>>Compromise, both of you should drink tequila.
I was looking for love, not for a one-night stand with a one-legged cafeteria lady from West Virginia.
I went on a first/last date with a guy who refused to take off his sunglasses the entire time, even in the dimly lit restaurant.
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