We must IMMEDIATELY send a task force of these mighty vessels – now the standard warship in Obama's “New Navy” – into the Med to deal with those pesky Ruskies.
Armed with a single M2 .50 caliber Browning, this much feared naval vessel carries up to 30 rounds of full cardboard jacketed paper bag piercing ammunition. It is the first in an entirely new naval architecture class -- technically, “clitoral” (not to be confused with “littoral”) -- being pushed on the Pentagon by the defense minded wussies in the Obama Administration as a cost-saving measure. If you look closely, you can see the heavy-duty seat restraint which prevents the helmsman/gunner shown here – Seaman 4th Class Kenneth “Kamakazi” Kowalski – from leaping from the vessel prior to engaging the enemy. The 12 V trolling motor – which lacks a reverse function -- propels this sophisticated craft forward at a top speed of 4 knots. Reverse travel – at approximately 35 knots -- is achieved by firing the Browning.
The no-bid contract to build 300 of these fearsome warships was awarded to the Obama-Soros-Emanuel Shipbuilding and Stormdoor Manufacturing Company (formerly General Dynamics) and will be administered by trusted Obama associate, Chicago Mayor and former Chief-of-Staff Rahm Emanuel who commented that, at $12 million each, they are a bargain. Constructed exclusively at the company’s facility in Kenya with major sub-component production (rivets and miscellaneous fasteners) at the company’s Harlem and Skokie plants. Delivery and sea trials of 100 of these began in 2013 with the remaining 200 to follow as soon as the subcontractors’ funds are safely in the contractor's numbered Swiss account.