[GOP_Party_Animal]

Of course they were triggered externally... by hydrogen bombs!

Basic Scientology

[hoagy62]

Okay....utter wackiness aside....when I saw the headline, my first thought was “Wouldn’t (ISIS/AlQaeda/assorted Muslim nutjobs) love to get a hold of a nuke and try something like that?”.

Think about it: if what this scientist is saying has a kernel of truth to it, what better way to cripple “the Great Satan” than to trigger a supervolcano and wipe out a good chunk of the US food production?

I know it’s a longshot, but an interesting and scary proposition nonetheless.

[DCBryan1]

Scientology

No, some guy named Rex Lutheran or something used it to create some ocean front property. I read it on the internets, so it must be true:

[cripplecreek]

Xenu sent out Tax Audit demands to all these billions of people. As each one entered the audit centers for the income tax inspections, the people were seized, held down and injected with a mixture of alcohol and glycol, and frozen. Then, all 1.4 trillion of these frozen people were put into spaceships that looked exactly like DC8 airplanes, except that the spaceships had rocket engines instead of propellers.

Xenu's entire fleet of DC8-like spaceships then flew to planet Earth, where the frozen people were dumped in and around volcanoes in the Canary Islands and the Hawaiian Islands. When Xenu's Air Force had finished dumping the bodies into the volcanoes, hydrogen bombs were dropped into the volcanoes and the frozen space aliens were destroyed.

However, Xenu's plan involved setting up electronic traps in Teegeack's atmosphere which were designed to trap the souls or spirits of the dead space aliens. When the 1.4 trillion spirits were being blown around on the nuclear winds, the electronic traps worked like a charm and captured all the souls in the electronic, sticky fly-paper like traps.

IRS at the center of ot all. Makes perfect sense to me.