Outrage on Campus!
A *MAN* was spotted!
Chaos ensues!
Campus organizers were both shocked and scrambling for an acronym to describe the appalling lapse of security that would allow a *MAN* to saunter onto our precious institute of higher outrage.
“It was horrible!” Bellowed Twanita Pizspot, professional student activist. “This, this, *MAN* had the nerve to walk with his head up! And will look you straight in the eye!
Can you believe, in these progressive times, that this agressive racist male behaviour is tolerated!?! I demand action! They must be indoctrinated!”
Rumors of this male monster having a real job sent further shockwaves through sensitivity central.
Diddle major Swinkle Tushtats was inconsolable. “Next thing you’ll tell precious me is that he’s married to an actual woman and calls her *his* *WIFE*! *HIS*!”
“As a progressive guilt-ridden white male,” chirped Panda Clump, whoever the fluck this twink is, “I find this not only highly offensive, but it is a direct insult to our beloved black overlord, who is as progressively wussy as they come.”
fsst! . . . . . .
Oops... we’ve lost the feed, Mel. The campus wind power generators must be clogged up with dead eagles & stoners again.
Hmmm . . .. Well, now back to our program, “Milestones in Bernie Saunders life: his first temper tantrum.” . . ..
“Up to the minute news, up to the minute that’s all the news.
Here’s to a Greater and Stronger America.
See you at Ten. See you then.”
George Putnam, Los Angeles Newscaster signoff, 1950’s - 60’s
Yogi is in front of the pearly gates. Beyond the gates he sees his old teammates in a pick up game, his wife & friends in the stands. All are awaiting his arrival.
And non other than YouKnowWho is out front to welcome him.
YouKnowWho:
“Welcome to your deserved rewards, Yogi.”
Yogi:
Thank you Sir.
YouKnowWho:
There is one little thing, Yogi. It is a truth. Accept it, and the gates will open now. But if you do not, you have to go to another place.
Yogi:
Another Place!?!
YouKnowWho:
You’d have to coach the 1975 Mets for another season.
Yogi:
Oh-oh.
YouKnowWho:
Just accept this truth, Yogi, that’s all, and I’ll open these gates immediately.
Yogi:
What is this truth, Sir?
YouKnowWho:
Jackie was safe.
Yogi:
- - -
YouKnowWho:
Yogi?
Yogi:
If I put Kingman in leadoff, make Staub a designated runner and bring back Thornberry for defensive purposes, -
YouKnowWho:
Yogi!
Yogi:
Heh.
YouKnowWho:
Never thought I’d convince you anyway. Gate’s open.