Read North Korea's Positively Insane Statement On Its Hydrogen Bomb

Foxtrot Alpha ^ | 010606 | Patrick George

[golux]

Last night, following reports of unusual seismic activity in the region, the Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea announced it detonated its first hydrogen bomb in an underground test. (...)

North Korea Says It Has Detonated Its First Hydrogen Bomb (...)

The country’s state-run Korean Central News Agency released a statement on the alleged detonation last night and it is everything we’ve come to expect from North Korea: surreal, full of patriotic bravado, rife with allusions to their “Juche” political philosophy of extreme self-reliance, and in bad need of copy editing.

(...)

A few highlights:

“Eye-catching miracles”

“H-bomb of justice”

“the national history spanning 5,000 years in the exciting period”

“the Korean people came to demonstrate the spirit of the dignified nation equipped with the most powerful nuclear deterrent”

“The U.S. is a gang of cruel robbers which has worked hard to bring even a nuclear disaster to the DPRK”

“Had no adverse impact on the ecological environment” (LOL sure)

“The army and people of the DPRK will steadily escalate its nuclear deterrence of justice both in quality and quantity”

“Nothing is more foolish than dropping a hunting gun before herds of ferocious wolves”

“The DPRK, a responsible nuclear weapons state” (Again, LOL sure)

You can read the full statement below. The wording may be funny, but the situation isn’t, especially for the other countries in that sphere—and the U.S.—who must deal with North Korea’s unpredictability and apparent newfound nuclear force. (...)

[righttackle44]

I would like to know more about that eye catching miracle thing. It sounds as if the NK nuclear program is overseen by a fairy or something.

[Flick Lives]

Amazing that America keeps shoveling money in to NK and kissing the little ugly fatso’s ass.

---

That’s why NK acts like a spoiled child (now with nukes!). It’s worked in the past to get what they want.

[A Formerly Proud Canadian]

[SpaceBar]

Seismic recordings say no bomb.

Not surprised. I was skeptical when this first broke. And 45 kt is well within the feasible range of being a mine jam packed with conventional explosives.

[TXnMA]

"Seismic recordings say no bomb."

Where can I view that seismic data -- and decide for myself?

[SkyDancer]

Dunno - it was a report. I’d suggest you do an internet search on what university/gov’t agency monitored it.

[IronJack]

North Korea no more detonated a hydrogen bomb than the Fearsome Republican Guard pushed the infidel forces back into the ocean during the Gulf Wars.

To paraphrase Jerry MacGuire, show me the tritium.

[uglybiker]

H-bomb of justice... Is that from the same Arsenal as the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?

I think it's more along the lines of:

MOVE ZIG FOR GREAT JUSTICE!

[SkyDancer]

On 10 October 1885 in New York City, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers detonated 300,000 pounds (135 t) of explosives on Flood Rock, annihilating the island, in order to clear the Hell Gate for the benefit of East River shipping traffic.

It would be just as easy for NK to do something similar and claim it was a test of a hydrogen bomb. Problem is there was no double bang on the seismic recording indicating a nuclear trigger to detonate the bomb.

[shibumi]

The Holy Hand grenade of Antioch is a handy thing to have, especially if you are the type who might foolishly be "...dropping a hunting gun before herds of ferocious wolves."

(They travel in *herds* now Ethel!)

[SpaceBar]

The seismic signature of either an ‘A’ or ‘H’ bomb has a very sharp P-wave spike due to the localized and compressive nature of the blast, with very little S-wave (shear) component. That is hard if not impossible to fake.

[SpaceBar]

show me the tritium...

And let's just for the sake of argument say it was an H-bomb. Such a low yield would indicate a dud, with all that unspent tritium quickly escaping into the atmosphere through cracks and fissures (hydrogen is highly mobile), and would/will be easily detected in weeks or months globally.

[SpaceBar]

The three year time-between-tests is just about right to fill a mine with explosives.

[SkyDancer]

Yep. I remember reading about a nuclear test in South Africa with Israel as a participant. There was that double spike on the seismic recordings.

[blam]

"Always remember, we have Bill & Hillary Clinton to thank for a nuclear-armed North Korea."

And, Chinese ICBM's that actually work.

[Boogieman]

Well, they had very basic ICBMs before that, but the Clintons gave them multiple-reentry vehicle technology.

[IronJack]

I have my doubts that North Korea could manage to set off a ladyfinger without blowing a hand off.

[Gunslingr3]

Why do we have to keep paying for troops in Europe? It's because the Euroweenies can't seem to manage their own affairs without a mean babysitter

They can't make us have troops there.

The fault lies much closer to home.

[onedoug]

How about a plebiscite within South Korea? If they vote that we leave, we leave.

[onedoug]

I looked at some data, and was convinced it was an explosion of some sort. What I would like to have seen however, were some fault-plane solutions, of which, on every site I viewed, there were none.

That seems peculiar to me.