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I Can’t Stop Bashing My Husband to Other Moms, and I’m Sorry
New York Magazine ^ | 6/17

Posted on 06/18/2016 11:57:16 AM PDT by nickcarraway

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To: Romulus
None of them has ever complained about his wife's "honey-do" list? About her interrupting his football game to chat about cooking shows? About her demanding he take her somewhere when she has no clue where she wants to go? About her patronizing reaction when he does the grocery shopping or makes a meal?

You must hang with the most boring, whipped guys on earth. You might want to do a DNA check, because they sound like disgusting wimps.

And frankly, none of the guys I know would want some twinky dork like you for a friend.

By the way, there's a difference between complaining about your spouse and "slagging off" your partner. If you want to live some make-believe life where your wife is perfect, go for it. I -- and my friends -- live in the real world.

81 posted on 06/18/2016 1:13:35 PM PDT by IronJack
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To: nickcarraway
Many years ago, when my daughter was 2 YO, and my son was merely a few months old, my wife had a six week training session to attend. She flew back for the weekend halfway through, probably to make sure the kids were still alive.

I think she was disappointed that the kids were fine, the abode was clean, the dishes were washed, etc.

She was really worried how my daughter would react when she went back for the final 3 weeks. As we watched the plane taxi on to the runway, she asked me, "is that mama's plane?" I replied that it was, and she responded with,

"WELL THERE SHE GOES!!!" My FIL was with us, and we both busted out laughing. I didn't say much about it when my wife called, just told her I promised her a trip to McDonalds.

I can't imagine the daily struggles of a single parent, it takes a mom and a dad to raise a kid. As I see it though, it seems that men marry their wives for who they are, and women get married to change her man for the better, whether they need it or not.

82 posted on 06/18/2016 1:15:02 PM PDT by Night Hides Not (Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad! Remember Gonzales! Come and Take It!)
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To: hopespringseternal

Discouraging poaching to ‘female friends’ isn’t the same thing as treating him like dirt.

Easy solution to this problem is simply not having any female friends.


83 posted on 06/18/2016 1:15:12 PM PDT by Black Agnes
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To: Black Agnes

I’m hoping to go first. :)


84 posted on 06/18/2016 1:16:06 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: nickcarraway

Today’s current crop of mother’s is perhaps the most self absorbed, self centered group of women ever. They bring most of their problems on themselves. No sympathy for them.


85 posted on 06/18/2016 1:24:23 PM PDT by usafa92 (Trump 2016 - Destroying the GOPe while Making America Great Again)
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To: nickcarraway

Lousy wife, lousy mother but she makes good money writing about it
so she’s got that going for her.


86 posted on 06/18/2016 1:26:20 PM PDT by TigersEye (This is the age of the death of reason and rule of law. Prepare!)
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To: No Socialist

Men have a whole different list of what they judge their wives. But good wives should demean their husbands to others.


Why is that?


87 posted on 06/18/2016 1:35:22 PM PDT by lepton ("It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into"--Jonathan Swift)
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To: Black Agnes

Frankly, it’s not so bad...until they work in the office with you.

...or, I suppose, begin to believe it.


88 posted on 06/18/2016 1:38:02 PM PDT by lepton ("It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into"--Jonathan Swift)
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To: nickcarraway

When the men try to help, they are often brow-beaten about the substandard way the first attempt was done until the mother, in exasperation, just takes over and does it herself.

Message sent to the husband: You’ll never do this to my expectations so why bother trying? The husband quickly learns if he does a crappy job, she won’t call on him the next time.

Self-fulfilling prophecies all around.

She then gets the ego boost that she’s a better parent than he is and must truly be the better person.

Here’s an idea. Go to HIS job one day and be asked out of the blue to do part of his job with very little instruction and no patience then get lectured on every little thing that wasn’t done the way everyone else wants it done but you weren’t told and see how stupid and clueless you look.

That’s what mothers often do to fathers and then they can go off and tell the other mothers how inept or useless hubby is. All because she set him up for failure.

If you really want Daddy to do a better job around the house, praise and reward his work. Give small, incremental correction if he’s not doing it right and thank him for any extra effort shown above the last time.

Or you can just continue the martyr act.


89 posted on 06/18/2016 1:52:19 PM PDT by OrangeHoof (#GuiltyAsHELLary2016 #KimJungHill)
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To: Black Agnes

As a young girl, I saw this very thing happen to our next door neighbor. Nice lady, two kids, husband that was so talented and likable, wonderful father, etc.

The wife was friends with the single mother up the street.

One day, the husband announces he wants a divorce. Left them and married the woman up the street.

His children NEVER forgave him, and NEVER spoke to him again for the rest of his life.

It was sad, though, because in his later years, he became a beautiful Christian, but brought to his grave the heartache of what he had done to his wife and children.


90 posted on 06/18/2016 1:53:38 PM PDT by Right-wing Librarian
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To: nickcarraway

Women: If they didn’t have < expletive deleted > there’d be a bounty on them.


91 posted on 06/18/2016 2:00:51 PM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: madison10
My wife and I are the same way. She never ever dishes on me (and Lord, she could), and I never ever dish on her (and Lord, there is no reason to).

We learned long ago, that people who talk about other people, are talking about you the minute before you arrive, and the damn minute your are gone.

Each others' backs ? We got 'em

92 posted on 06/18/2016 2:06:36 PM PDT by onona (Honey this isn't Kindergarten. We are in an all out war for the survival of our Country !)
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To: onona

That’s the way to do it!


93 posted on 06/18/2016 2:08:14 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: OpusatFR

Agreed.

The worst thing that I can think of to say about my beautiful wife is that I wish she’d pick up after herself better. And.... Truth be told, she’d almost certainly say the same about me.

Otherwise, I love her more than the day we met, and am thankful for the time I have with her.

If these husband bashing harpies are so unhappy, they should spend more time improving their relationship and less time working to destroy it.


94 posted on 06/18/2016 2:14:16 PM PDT by wbill
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To: nickcarraway

I think that these mom’s specifically, but also many other folks, have spent too much time reading what today’s “writers” are putting out. Journalists, screenwriters, column writers and bloggers have all seemingly traded witty humor for snark, sarcasm and the ninja-like insult.

When I find myself reading something and my reaction is “Did they REALLY just say that??”, I know that I should just put that crap down and walk away. There is entirely too much snark in the world without my eating it up and passing it on.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.


95 posted on 06/18/2016 2:22:19 PM PDT by Ol' Sox
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To: nickcarraway

Funny, just this week I was told my wife and her workmates were trying to one-up each other on the great things their husbands do. I was “fortunate” that this week I noticed that the entire right side of the upper kitchen cabinet was leaning forwards. Luckily, the unit was attached to the smaller unit over the stove, because I discovered that of the four screws supposedly holding up the right unit, two (one at the top and one at the bottom) were screwed into gypsum wallboard. The one into the stud at the top was completely broken off, so the entire unit was being held to the wall by one screw. All of our daily dishes (apart from glasses) were vulnerable because some schmuck — before we bought the house 13 years ago — had done a completely incompetent renovation.

Once we cleared the dishes out, I lifted the cabinet back into position with a car jack, drilled pilot holes into the stud, screwed in half a dozen new screws, and cleaned up the mess — all within an hour.

And I don’t think my wife even won the competition. Some other husband installed a ceiling fan at two in the morning because the family was preparing a guest room for the arrival of a disabled elderly relative.

Sometimes guys are actually useful to have around.


96 posted on 06/18/2016 2:25:51 PM PDT by AZLiberty (A is no longer A, but a pull-down menu.)
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To: AZLiberty

It’s a good thing that you noticed what was happening. Someone could have been badly injured.


97 posted on 06/18/2016 2:27:50 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: nickcarraway

Every married man knows that his wife is there to bust his chops, that is what keeps him walking the line.


98 posted on 06/18/2016 2:32:05 PM PDT by fella ("As it was before Noah so shall it be again,")
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To: AZLiberty
Sometimes guys are actually useful to have around.

There's a great old Canadian TV comedy series called "The Red Green Show" that always featured a segment where Red would engage in some funny,outrageous project to solve some simple problem around the house...DIY-style.The project would always fail but Red would always believe it succeeded.At the end of the segment he'd always say,with a self-satisfied smile on his face,"remember,if the women don't find ya handsome at least they can find ya handy".

Many episodes are on youtube...funny stuff.

99 posted on 06/18/2016 2:41:28 PM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Obamanomics:Trickle Up Poverty)
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To: OpusatFR

This insanity is based on a key falsehood:

“Homemaking is a non-skilled job, not a career opportunity and any idiot could do it.”

I reared and supported 3 children alone because my ex-husband was neither able nor willing to provide for us. The few years I was a full-time homemaker were the best of my life and I never belittled him to my friends. When they complained about their husbands, they always acknowledged that my husband was not like that and never expected me to belittle him.

Homemaking and child-rearing was the most important, challenging and rewarding job I ever had. It just didn’t generate cash flow for the government to tax.

Providing for a family requires very different skills and a very different mindset. I know because I’ve done that too. Trust me, my homemaking went down the toilet when I had to be a full-time provider.

It takes a very strong and narrow focus to maintain a well-paying career whether you’re a plumber, mechanic, doctor, computer programmer or executive.

How many of the women who belittle their husbands could do their husbands’ jobs? Why do they expect their husbands to be able to do theirs?

Because they think their job is a job for idiots and they are desperate to look down on someone else. It actually starts with women’s contempt for themselves.

The whole feminist movement is predicated on the principle that homemaking is an inferior position. That great lie that has nearly destroyed our culture.

If homemaking were so inferior, trust me, the government would not want that job, and the lust for power starts with the lust to control children and their upbringing.

My deepest sympathies for the useful idiots who betray their husbands, their children and themselves.


100 posted on 06/18/2016 2:58:27 PM PDT by gspurlock (http://www.backyardfence.wordpress.com)
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