That is exactly why I started using drugs at the age 16.
Acceptance. 8-9th grade I was the fat kid, people loved to bully me.
10th grade I lost 100 lbs, beat up the main bully, then started using drugs. Everyone accepted me then, lots of friends, I was cool, you know.
It’s funny though, these things that make you cool when you are a young person also make you an outcast as an adult.
That which earned you acceptance then will earn you rejection now.
And of course, if those behaviors get too far out of control, they can end your life, then you don’t have to worry about these kinds of things any longer.
I admire your self control and direction. We cannot be controlled by others. EVER!!