Morbidly Obese Pig Rescued in Billerica, Animal Cruelty Charges Possible

WWLP ^ | June 7, 2017 | Anthony Fay

[EEGator]

Drugged and trapped in his house by his maid...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3494881/Popping-store-1-700-purse-housekeeper-accused-keeping-Richard-Simmons-hostage-home.html

[EEGator]

Yes, “hogging” is a crime.

[Dr. Sivana]

If P.G. Wodehouse were still alive, I could see a Blandings Castle novel arising from the plot. Hide the Empress of Blandings!

[rlmorel]

LOL, I thought they looked like that, anyway.

Besides, what...is a pig supposed to be buff or something? I mean, if they were, wouldn’t that kind of take the wind out of the sails of “You Fat Pig!”?

What about people who make their dogs and cats, kids, spouses, and themselves fat? I know it is Massachusetts and all...

[rlmorel]

LOL, they love that window perches, don’t they? Mine is sitting on his, looking out back at me lying in my hammock!

[rlmorel]

A farmer was showing a city slicker his farm, and when they came to the pig pen, the following exchange took place:

CITY SLICKER: Hey! That pig only has three legs! What happened to it? Was it born that way?

FARMER: Well, no...I'm glad you asked. That pig is s special-un. He saved the life of me and my family. Our farm was on fire while we were all sleeping, and that there pig got loose, came into the house and raised such a ruckus, and wouldn't stop, that we all woke. We couldn't find our way out, and that there pig led us through the smoke and fire to safety. Yea, he is a special-un. So, we feel an obligation to treat him right special.

CITY SLICKER: That's amazing! What happened to his leg, did he injure it in the fire?

FARMER: Oh, no. A pig that special, you just don't eat all at once.

[Mears]

Uh,Uh-—Massachusetts is one of the slimmest states in the union.

.

[HartleyMBaldwin]

Yeah, Lord Emsworth used to feed the Empress something like 57,000 calories a day as I recall. The cruelty!

[Jeff Chandler]

Oh, no. A pig that special, you just don't eat all at once.

One of my favorite jokes -- one that gets a lot strange looks.

[rlmorel]

LOL, I LOVE telling it...I told it to a woman who is an animal rights advocate (I love her dearly) and how she glared at me!

[Gay State Conservative]

Massachusetts is one of the slimmest states in the union.

You and I must travel in different circles! ;-)

[Jeff Chandler]

TERRIFIC

[MrEdd]

Simple problem.

Solution.

[HartleyMBaldwin]

I always liked the one where the city guy is out in the country one day and sees a farmer up on a ladder, holding a pig so that it can eat the apples from the tree. The city guy asks why the farmer is doing that, and the farmer says, “Well, this pig likes apples, so I’m feeding him some apples.” The city guy says, “Wouldn’t it be a lot quicker to shake the apples off the tree, and let the pig eat them from the ground?” The farmer says, “I suppose so, but what’s time to a pig?”

[Jeff Chandler]

On the way to view Dolphin Tale at the theater, I told my granddaughter, "I love dolphins. They're delicious." When we came to the scene where they were applying a white medicinal cream to the dolphin's wound, I whispered, "Tartar sauce."

She had a great time telling those jokes at school. I also taught her to say, "Sugar is good for you. It gives you energy."

[Viking2002]

Hey, you try taking a fat, lazy cat out for a drag on a leash. She has no metabolism whatsoever. We have her mother and three of her kittens, too, and they're as thin as rails.

[rlmorel]

LOL, that’s great...”Tartar sauce”!

Love it!

[rlmorel]

Heh, I like that one, too!

[Sacajaweau]

Lotta bacon.

[Viking2002]

We got her one of those 24"x14" heated perches from Chewy.com that you screw down into the sill. Comes with a removable fleece cover and 6W heater. She couldn't contain herself when I started to mount it. It took a week of waiting for the right time to get it in, and she snuck up on me - launched herself up into the window, meowing and generally making a nuisance of herself. Tried to lay on it before I had it fully mounted and got the cover back on. I had to call my wife in to grab her and hold her until I got it installed properly. LOL She has barely left it since. She has the perfect view of about 3/4 of an acre from the rear window in the master bath now.