Our tanks sucked, one on one no match. 6 on one there was chance.
Our tanks did indeed suck. They were cheap and reliable, but otherwise mediocre. I still maintain that German tanks were and are overrated.
The glory days of German armor were early in the war, with mostly PzIIs and PzIIIs, and a few short barreled Pz IV Cs and Ds. The principle small arm was a bolt action rifle designed in the 19th century, and their logisitics chain relied on draft animals. German successes were predicated on superior doctrine, training and morale.
The superweapon V2s, Tigers, Panthers, Me 262s and so on presided over a relentless retreat and sunset of Third Reich aspirations. Even where these weapons were promising, they were as you mentioned prone to breakdown and also various shortages. Germany was not particularly well served by their MIC. The short range of the Me 109 cost them the Battle of Britain. The poor cold weather performance of their armor and motor pool arguably cost them Barbarossa.
As a hypothetical consider a Wehrmacht and Luftwaffe equipped with Garand rifles, the T34 series armor, and P47 and P51 fighters, but otherwise keep the training, morale levels and doctrine. If I was doing a fantasy football WWII, that is what I would shoot for.
By the way I have long admired your tagline, and concur.