Hon, while you’re venting, would you make me a sammich?
Now, there’s the mistake.
You say *Awwww, that must be awful. I’m so sorry you have to go through that. * Or some such benign sympathetic phrases.
And offer to wash the dishes. Even if you only do a few, and she turns you down, she’ll appreciate the thought.
THEN you ask her to make the sammich.