“2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.”
Or into a black hole if it is a specialty part, such as a slotted left hand thread nut, which will necessitate ordering another part which will cost more than a bad divorce, take longer to ship than it took to conquer the Japanese Empire and will be the wrong size when you get it.
Been there, done that.
“3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.”
And rises exponentially as the frequency of acts of stupidity accelerates.
“4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.”
And its usually someone elderly or angry, or both.
“5. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.”
5A. The Express line will ALWAYS move slower than all other lines COMBINED.
“7. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.”
This law has led to more divorces than all other laws combined.
Extension 5B - If the Express Line is 10 Items or Less, you will be behind someone with 12 items (or more).
Extension 5C - Shopper with 12 items does not speak English.
Extension 5D - Cashier is adamant about rule and calls Manager.
Extension 5E - You have 2 shoppers behind you to block changing lines.