Posted on 04/25/2002 6:58:34 AM PDT by the_devils_advocate_666
Edited on 04/29/2004 2:00:27 AM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]
How would classic sitcom dads handle the family crises Ozzy Osbourne has faced?
Father Ozzy Osbourne doesn't know best. In fact, it's anyone's guess what the hangdog heavy-metal god knows on The Osbournes, a 13-week documentary series about the domestic life of a man previously best known for biting off the head of a bat. Before more than 5 million viewers, Ozzy, 53, has morphed into the befuddled (if tattooed) head of a rambunctious, foul-mouthed family.
(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...
In words towards the likes Ozzy would use, "Has this country gone (bleep)ing mad?"
:) ttt
Who, one can only conclude, would curl up in a fetal position and whimper like a little bi%$h if ever confronted by an intruder in his house.
Ozzy and his Brood, are like south park they make a statement as to how crazy and detatched the media is about how we live......believe me no gallop poll would ever have produced the osbournes, it simply would never have gotten any air time on the nightly news.
And as for the dog therapist being "a bleeping fruitloop", sounds like Ozzy may be on to something. Wonder if he's on FR?
Did anyone hear about Ozzy and Russell Yates on the talk show recently? There was a story circulating around that Russell wanted to meet Ozzy backstage. Oz wouldn't have anything to do with him - said he was a ghoul that profited off the death of his kids. Not funny, until the writer of the article pointed out "Here is a person that's done every drug known to man, snorted live ants up his nose, and bit the head off a bat onstage.....but he thinks Yates is a ghoul? Doesn't put Mr Yates in good company."
Sharon calls in Tamara, a dog therapist, to treat Lola, a bulldog who fouls the house with alarming frequency. Ozzie shakes his head and refers to the trainer as "a (bleep)ing fruitloop."
WRONG! Ozzy's response was this... "You open the door and let the dog out. Its that simple."
I am sure there was swearing involved, but that was Ozzys response to Lolla shitting in the house.
THE OSBOURNE RESPONSE: (on neighbors)
Sharon, driven to distraction by "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" coming from next door, flings a ham over the fence, cackling, "This is a picture of his wife's a--!" The neighbors call the cops.
Again an inaccurate picture. No mention that the Osbournes have been complaining to the neighbors for some time about their noise at 3 AM and that Sharons repeated attempts of talking to them were fruitless and she had finally had enough. And when the cops came they told Sharon to just call them next time and they will quiet the neighbors down.
THE OSBOURNE RESPONSE: (on guns)
Moving into his new home, surrounded by boxes marked "Dead Things" and "Devil Heads," Ozzy finds a rifle. "What do you want me to do with the gun, Sharon?" he asks. "I'll put it under the bed. . . ."
Ozzy didnt just "find" a gun. It was HIS gun and everyone in the family knew about it. Jack and Ozzy later attached a bayonet. Surprised they didnt include that part in the article.
THE OSBOURNE RESPONSE: (on credit cards)
A lie, of course. Kelly tells Ozzy they bought some things for his bathroom and he's none the wiser. Says Sharon: "Kelly and I cover each other's a----."
Wrong again. Sharon repeatedly said that Kelly was not supposed to have Ozzys credit card and that she knew she wasnt supposed to. And Ozzy knew full well that they were on a wild shopping spree because he kept complaining about it before they left, while they were gone, and when they got back!
And the show has far more than the 5 million viewers credited in the artile. Drew just short of 7.8 Million on Tuesday night.
THE OSBOURNE RESPONSE: (drugs)
At last! Ozzy gets a chance to deliver fatherly advice, drawn from vast experience. "It ain't gonna lead to anywhere but bad places," he says, dead serious for once. "Look at me."
For once they got it right. But they could have explained the larger content of the discussion between Ozzy and Jack. Jack kept saying "Im not addicted, Im not addicted. I dont do it that often." Ozzy shot back "I wasnt addicted at first either" and went on about how it screwed him up and has been a life long problem that has really screwed him up.
This article is horrible, inaccurate, and clearly a cheap shot at The Osbournes for no reason other than its popularity. If it was at the bottom of the ratings this article would not have been written.
Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy!
When I moved from my old house to my new house there was a large boxed marked "Skulls."
Have a large collection of skulls of various sizes and styles. My mother in law, for a wedding gift, got me Skeleton Bride & Groom statues.
"Tom Bradford and I are pretty much alike. I think the only people who should have guns are the police." -- Dick Van Patten from "Eight Is Enough"Yo, Dick, how does it feel to be in total agreement with Adolf Hitler? Jeez.
One of my greatest pleasures in life is knowing this moron has no career any more.
TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!
Ozzy also said that he would burn out Yates eyes with a "hot poker"Would he lose his mind? Would he see or be blind?
-Eric
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