"i got a great bonus on my paycheck today, drinks are on me!"
"barkeep, please place a fresh drink in front of every one of my good friends here... even that douchebag down at the end of the bar.
the bartender places a fresh drink in front of each of the man's friends, then walks down the bar to the woman sitting alone.
"ma'am, what would you like to drink?" she replies "hey, i heard what he called me, and i'm not taking his drink."
"ah, come on, he's buying, and he's obviously already had a couple... what'll ya have?"
"i'm not having a drink that that pig paid for!"
"okay, ma'am, let me buy you a drink...on the bar... okay... don't let one rowdy mess up your evening... come on, what'll ya have?"
okay, he's a jerk, but you're being so sweet. give me a vinegar and water."