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How can one conceive of a one party system in a country that has over 200 varieties of cheeses?

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.

France is a country where the money falls apart in your hands and you can't tear the toilet paper.

I got a cab in Paris. The driver smelled like a guy eating cheese while getting a perm inside the septic tank of a slaughterhouse.

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

Paris is like a whore, from a distance she seems ravishing, you can't wait until you have her in your arms. Five minutes later you feel empty, disgusted with yourself. You feel tricked.

A fighting Frenchman runs away from she-goats.