Posted on 04/08/2005 8:19:49 AM PDT by pissant
Bubbles is proud to announce our first annual Top Ten List of Tush-Challenged Celebrities!
Bubbles fans and customers voted and the verdict is in. You've picked your favorite not-so-bootylicious celebrity babes, now it's our job to make sure they start wearing their Bubbles!
1. Paris Hilton
Hilton's spokesman says she wants to keep a lower profile because of the extraordinary amount of attention she's received from her now-ubiquitous Internet "video". Well, Paris, it looks like your fans actually want you to boost that profile - you were voted our #1 Tush-Challenged celeb!
2. Gwyneth Paltrow
We hear Gwyneth is a big fan of those butt-boosting jeans out there. Gwyneth should know that Bubbles are much more effective - and a lot cheaper (but she probably doesn't have to worry about that).
3. Cameron Diaz
We love Cameron because she's smart, sexy, loves a good party and, according to our voters, is in need of a pair of Bubbles. Cameron, you're in good company. We have a lot of women like that around here.
4. Britney Murphy
It's not always easy finding pictures of the backside of a big star, which we find a little strange. After all, the butt is one of the two sexist parts of a woman (the brain being the other, of course). But we trust our voters, and Britney came in at #4.
5. Mischa Barton
Classically beautiful and oh-so-petite, Mischa Barton started on the stage. But does anyone remember her role as the ghost of a sickly girl in The Sixth Sense? Not so sickly anymore, Mischa was voted our #5 star.
6. Penelope Cruz
Known outside her native country as the "Spanish enchantress," Penélope was born in Madrid. She's a natural beauty, talented actress and ballet dancer...and she dated Tom Cruise. What more could a woman want (except a plumper rump)?
7. Heather Locklear
Heather reportedly got implants earlier in her career (of the breast kind). But stay away from those butt implants Heather, we've got a much more comfortable solution to keep your booty and your acting career up and running. Now this woman has staying power!
8. Uma Thurman
Chosen by Empire magazine as one of the 100 Sexiest Stars in film history, Uma is a tall, strong yet svelte star of stars. Uma came in at #20, but she's #8 in our poll. We think she would look even hotter in that yellow jumpsuit if she brought Bubbles along to "Kill Bill".
9. Sarah Michelle Gellar
She may forever be known as Buffy, but we like to think of her as Mrs. Freddie Prince Jr....lucky girl. But he's pretty lucky too. We would love to see Freddie's face when Michelle walks out of the bedroom with her old favorite jeans and a new pair of Bubbles. Kapow.
10. Lara Flynn Boyle
Lara brings up the rear as a write-in candidate, and to our surprise, she got quite a few votes. We couldn't get our hands on a picture of Lara in a pair of jeans, so it was hard to tell, but this pose shows a not-so-buxom bottom. Our specialty!
Yep, I'm not sure why the ditzy blondes are so popular. Lara Flynn Boyle is a different story though!
Hey, I've seen that before. Hmmmm, trying to remember where...
The reason the listed stars don't have rear ends is because they're anorexic.
And BTW, why are you always lurking in the SBR???
Lara needs to go to the anorexia clinic with that Olsen twin.
She's my favorite bulemic!
The butt-lifter may not even help!
At least with most of these women, one could imagine that maybe their talents in bed would at least be worth something. With the videos it became obvious that Paris Hilton has no talent in this area either. Passed out, dead drunk college girls show more enthusiasm for a good schtuping than Paris did in either one of her videos. She is a better actress than actress than sex partner, so what does THAT tell you?
I think they might call it the JRBC-Pissant wing of FR!!
Unfortunately, all comments would be removed by the moderator!!
Yep, I've had my share of run ins already!
I think I have only had one removed. I try so hard to behave. Sometimes, it is real difficult.
It would be fun some eve to set up a chat room with Yahoo "Tawdry Freepers" and blow some steam with like minded freepers/freeperettes!
I'm in, but like I said in a previous thread, I worked as a guard in a mens prison so I have most likely heard it, been called it, or said it. So sailors might blush at my language. When I am not on FR or at the office the "F" bomb is frequently used. Sorry if it offends.
Well I cut down on my swearing since my daughter was born, that's for sure. But who else could we get involved?? We'll need to put together a PING list.
Obviously, pissant, this begs the question, "What were you doing on lovemybubbles.com?"
Might I suggest onionbooty.com? (You know you're going to go there...)
Owl_Eagle
(If what I just wrote makes you sad or angry,
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