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How To Invade France?

However you want!
There are more American military bases in Europe than European bases. Why? Because we've had to bail them out of a couple of World Wars so far. See the countries on the map below? We have some sort of presence in all of them. Kick-ass.

Of course, who are we to argue with perfection? We'll stick with what worked in the past, and just come in from Germany. We've got a couple of bases there left over from defeating Hitler (You're welcome, France.) and when we defeated the Soviets (You're welcome, France.).

We'll show the socialists in Spain who's boss by abusing their air space to fly troops in, and heaven forbid we don't let the Irish in on the fun! France has 477 airports... We'll be dammed if we don't use each one!

Of course, we will claim France and all of its natural resources (Read: Funny hats, wine and... well, forget the cheese, grab more wine!). With the area now firmly in control of the U.S., we'll establish a governor (We think it'll be another long lost "Bush-Brother" just to add insult to injury to the Parisians still hanging around) and claim it as the sole "United State of Europe".

How "peesed off" will they be?

Well this guy looks like somebody took a dump in his hat, but hell, the French always look like that. After all, the most famous French art is always about being miserable.

On a positive note, the center section of the French flag is a large white stripe. If they tear off the two edges, it makes a perfect banner to carry when they surrender to whomever.

Really though, they'll quickly get used to the occupying force, they've got enough practice. The only tough thing will be getting them not to surrender to anyone else first (In light of the Madrid bombing and bomb findings, France has raised their terror alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaboration.").

Oh, and if you're French and reading this, we do accept your surrender.

"Over the Hills and Far Away" - modern version;
(from SHARPE'S EAGLE)

Four thousand dollars on the drum,
For those who’ll volunteer to come
And enlist to fight the foe today,
Over the hills and far away.

O’er the hills, we will attack
Afghanistan and then Iraq;
George Bush commands and we obey,
Over the hills and far away.

When duty calls me, I must go
To stand and face another foe;
But part of me will always stray
Over the hills and far away.

O’er the hills, from sea to land,
Iraq, and then on to Iran;
George Bush commands and we obey,
Over the hills and far away.

If I should fall to fight no more,
As many comrades did before,
Then ask the pipes and drums to play
"Over the hills and far away".

O’er the hills, pro patria,
Iran and then Arabia;
George Bush commands and we obey,
Over the hills and far away.

Then fall in, lads, behind the drum,
With colours blazing like the sun,
Along the road to come what may,
Over the hills and far away.

O’er the hills we will advance,
Through Belgium, Germany, and France;
George Bush commands and we obey,
Over the hills and far away."