Posted on 05/21/2005 11:42:41 AM PDT by MoFiZiX Gr4FiX
As I’ve said somewhere in the past, the best humor always has an element of truth to it. The more it’s stepped in truth, the better it usually is. Well, I found the following piece on Michael Brown’s website, SpiritDaily.com. When I read it, I nearly fell off my chair LMAO!
Noah in America
In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans, thy sons and their wives."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -- but no Ark.
"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed.
"I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
"Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls -- but no go!
"When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. I am required to apply for 834 different licenses to keep wild beasts on private property.
"Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood. Further, the pitch to water-poof the ark has been banned by the EPA as inimical to the environment.
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
"Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work. The scaffolding to build the superstructure is not OSHA-approved and is forbidden to use except for private structures less than 5 cubits.
"The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 100 years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean You're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
In an article over at National Review Online, Peter Kirsanow makes a brilliant case for why we need California Supreme Court Justice Janis Rodgers Brown on the federal bench and why the liberals are going berserk over the prospect of her confirmation. The woman thoroughly understands the true meaning of American freedom. The greatness of our country’s freedom lies in the concept of independent and personal ownership – a concept which Justice Brown holds dear to her heart. As the daughter of a black sharecropper growing up in Alabama during the heated battle for black civil rights, Janis Rodgers Brown understood that the only way for anyone - black or otherwise - to enjoy the true blessings of liberty is to work hard for and lay absolute claim to his or her own individual piece of American pie. Allowing socialist liberal beurocracies to levy endless restrictions on what one can do with his or her piece of the American pie is clearly in direct opposition to the pursuit of the American dream. Every day, big government beurocrats and liberal activist judiciaries whittle away the rights granted unto us by the property clauses of the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments to the US Constitution. The more control they claim over individual property rights, the less freedom we have to achieve success and the further we will slip into the dark bondage of communistic rule.
"Socialism Would Sink Noah's Arc!"
Fun post. But would the Arc in the
headline be the one on his welding torch?
One must remember that Noah was a rank amatuer carpenter given a mission by the Lord. Engineers thought they were great and offered up the Titanic....
To err is human. To really foul things up requires government intervention.
"One must remember that Noah was a rank amatuer carpenter given a mission by the Lord. Engineers thought they were great and offered up the Titanic...."
LOL. Good perspective.
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