Bench shooters can more or less ignore the gun weight. I only carry these a few yards from the truck to the bench and back again.
My .300 Win Mag bench rifle weights about 20 pounds with scope. I had my dear friend and rifle builder extraordinaire, Lee Six, put extra weight in the stock. Even so, an afternoon at the range with the .300 and about 80 rounds does take its toll for the reasons you state. All the recoil is transmitted to only the upper body; the lower torso and legs do nothing to absorb any of it.
Shooting the large caliber pistols is another matter. I have taken to downloading the .454 Casull and the .475 Linebaugh to mostly .44 mag recoil levels. Occasionally I get reckless and shoot full house loads, but never more than a half dozen at a time. In the hunting field, these would be great because only a shot or two would suffice. Target shooting with the Linebaugh at top end loads gets tiresome (for me) rather fast. After a dozen or so accuracy suffers. I use heavy gloves (like John Taffin) to soften the recoil and save my hands from tendinitis and the possibility of early arthritis.
Wow. Lee Six has a great reputation.
The effect a gifted gunsmith can have on a firearm can be spectacular. It can make a lousy shot quite good, when the machine doesn't get in the way. I have especially seen a "day and night" difference in handgun performance. It is really worth the money to have it done....as long as the smith is the real thing. Otherwise, I would rather put up with the lesser performance than wonder what was done which may cause problems later. One wants to know that if necessity dictates, his firearm will serce him well, even a target gun. What if it is all one has at the time? I find highly specialized firearms to be interesting as a hobby, but no longer a "real gun."