Skip to comments.Sperm Donor Betrayed by Lesbian Couple He Aided
Posted on 12/04/2007 10:33:50 AM PST by PercivalWalks
A man who was kind enough to donate his sperm to a lesbian couple has now--18 years later--been stabbed in the back and hit up for child support. According to the New York Post:
"A sperm donor who sent gifts signed 'Dad' to his biological son has been slapped with a child-support order, 18 years after helping his friend get pregnant.
"The Nassau County man donated his sperm to a work colleague, and included his name on the child's birth certificate, saying it would give the boy an identity, courts documents revealed.
"He then blurred the lines between donor and full-time father by sending money, presents and cards signed 'Dad' and 'Daddy,' and having phone chats with the now college-bound teen.
"But the man's goodwill backfired: A court ruling says he is now liable for financial support of the 18-year-old, who lives with his mother in Oregon.
"'It really is no good deed goes unpunished,' said the man's lawyer, Deborah Kelly of Potrush and Daab in Garden City...
"'He was assured that he would have no responsibility on his part and of course 18 years has elapsed where there hasn't been responsibility,' she said.
"'He did not anticipate this would happen now, when the child is almost an adult, that the mother would come forward for child support.'
"She said her client had requested a DNA test, 'because we have no concrete evidence he is the father.'
"Nassau County Family Court judge Ellen Greenberg ruled Nov. 16 against a paternity test, saying it would have a traumatic effect on the child.
"The child signed an affidavit stating that he has 'never known anyone other than [the man] to be his father,' according to court documents.
"If payments were to go ahead, the child support would be determined based on the mother's earning capacity; the reported income of her partner, who is also a doctor; and the father's income...
"The father said he had contact with the child from his birth until 1993, when the lesbian couple and his son moved to Oregon, according to court documents. From then the contact dropped to seven phone calls in the past 15 years and one meeting for a few hours three years ago."
A few points:
1) Incredibly, the court won't even allow him to have a DNA test to confirm that he really is the father.
2) According to the Post, "The child signed an affidavit stating that he has "never known anyone other than [the man] to be his father." One wonders what pressure his mother may have put on him to sign this and be a part of this scam.
3) The boy is 18--he's no longer a child, and nobody should be required to pay child support for him. This is a court-ordered double-standard--as a married father, my wife and I are not legally required to give my son a dime when he's 18.
4) The kicker is "If payments were to go ahead, the child support would be determined based on the mother's earning capacity; the reported income of her partner, who is also a doctor; and the father's income." So it's not enough for the biological mother to have her own income and be supported by her lesbian partner, who is also a doctor--she needs to suck money out of yet another person to pay for this.
I'm sure in any other aspect, the biological mother would fiercely assert that her lesbian partner fills the second parent/parental role for the boy, and that he doesn't need nor ever did need a father. Yet somehow when it comes to child support, her lesbian partner means nothing, and she's got to go get money from a man.
The full New York Post article can be seen here.
www.GlennSacks.com, Glenn Sacks
When I first read this story I couldn’t believe it. Without knowing any further details my first reaction is that the mother (a doctor) is a greedy scumbag.
Sounds like mom needs to get laid.
On the bright side the father didn’t have to live with that mother...
I represented a mom and her son in a similar case. It wasn’t a donor situation but a one night stand. I’m pretty sure that there had been a blood test years earlier. We ended up with enough money to get the young man started in college. The father had known about this kid and had avoided being served etc. so the facts were different but we resolved it by having the money go to the son instead of the mother.
Judging by the boy’s age, it looks like her motive was to get him to pay for the boy’s college tuition
A few more cases like this, and these “couples” will start finding it harder and harder to find anyone willing to help them have children.
Man was an idiot.
Yup. But so is the court here, if they force him to pay child support. Everyone here in the whole story are idiots.
Absolutely. When he put his name on the birth certificate he made himself responible for this child.
My thought exactly.But although I only quickly skimmed the article it occurs to me that they could even go for back payments...in addition to college tuition.
With a turkey baster?
maybe mom couldn’t handle the boy’s questions about who his dad was and where was he?
What happened to common sense?
The judge has none ordering child support paid to an 18 year old.
The man has none for allowing a non-anonymous sperm donation.
There is just no way, no how, that I would father a child, even through a sperm bank, knowing that part of me was out there and I had nothing to do with its upbringing.
The fellow maintained an interest and acknowledged his paternity. His fatherhood has an element of the vicarious. His child support order is not vicarious.
every sperm is sacred... and should not be wasted on ingrate lesbians...
Exactly. What some people won’t do for free money.
How hypocritical that this man who never had any part in raising the boy should be condemned like this when there are situations of real fathers who never had any part don’t get to pay because they screwed some other poor soul.