Beam me to Planet Gore !
Posted on 02/04/2008 3:14:21 AM PST by mattstat
Mayor Gavin Newsom announced that San Francisco’s mandatory carbon-footprint reduction program will begin as scheduled on the first of March.
“There never was a problem as serious as global warming and we must take action now,” said mayoral spokesman William Simonson. “San Franciscans are among the most enlightened people of the world and they are eager to do their part,” he continued.
Phase One of the program requires all citizens to cease jogging and other aerobic activities. “Each time a San Franciscan exhales, they add to the already over-burdened carbon dioxide load of the atmosphere.” Simonson explained that “jogging increases the amount of CO2 in people’s breath to unacceptable levels.” All jogging paths will be converted to green space which will also help absorb CO2. Conversion is expected to last at least three years.
The more controversial part of the program is Phase Two, which is expected to remain voluntary.
(Excerpt) Read more at wmbriggs.com ...
Holy hyperbole, Batman! The plague, the Great War, the Spanish influenza pandemic, Nazi Germany, World War II, the Cold War. Now those were problems. Gavin needs some perspective.
I presume this is satire, in which case, you got me! LOL out loud!
Phase 2 is almost too horrible to contemplate. Full details are on the main site.
Okay, everbody in SF stop breathing. That will go a long way to reduce CO2.
its SATIRE..but it had me going for just a second..
Renew! Renew!
Would’t that hurt gay marriages too. Amen.
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